Eye's Wide Open: Season 3
by Xxwillow13xx
Summary: After the mountain, Clarke leaves Camp Jaha to go out on her own. She finds herself in a very unexpected place, with a very unexpected person. She stays with the Ice Nation's Queen until she finds out what really happened at the mountain that caused Lexa to betray her. Then, she tries to get away to Lexa to warn her on what's to come.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys. I just wanted to tell you that this is my first fan fiction ever. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted to write. I knew I wanted to write a Clexa fanfic, but I wanted to write something that no one would think of. And, I finally did just that. I am a die hard Clexa fan so I was kind of angry with myself for writing this. But, at the same time I was excited, because this will be some major s**t that Clarke and Lexa have to get over. I hope you guys enjoy this. Please feel free to PM and review your thoughts. I would greatly appreciate it.**

Chapter 1: 1 Month After The Mountain

"I bare it so they don't have to"

She looked around at all of the bodies. Some were on the floor, others were in chairs with their heads on the table. Pained expressions on there face. Red angry blotches covered every inch of there bodies. She saw movement out of the corner of her eye. She looked towards the movement. She watched in horror as she saw a child get up and walk over to her.

"This is your fault. You did this to me," he said as he went to grab her.

She screamed as she pulled away from him and turned to run. She got little more then two steps, when she stopped. She stood frozen in fear, as she watched everyone that she burned, get up and walked towards her.

"Clarke!," they all screamed as they approached her.

"Klark. Klark wake up," she heard someone scream as she was shaken. She awoke in a tight embrace. Still terrified, she struggled trying to brake free. "Shhhh. Klark, you are safe. I have you."

Her mind still in a fog, she frantically tried to remember where she was. That's when it hit her. "Nia?"

"I'm here Klark. It was just a bad dream," Nia said as she ran her hand through Clarke's hair. Nia smiled as she felt Clarke relax into her. When Clarke realized what she was doing, she tensed up and started to move. She stopped when she felt Nia tighten her grip just a bit. "No, Klark, it is okay. If you feel comfortable I will hold you as long as you want me too."

"Are you sure. I don't wish to intrude. I mean, you've done so much for me already. I was close to death when you found me. And you took me in, fed me, gave me clothes and put me in a room next to your's in your mansion. I just, what I mean to say is, why are you being so nice to me?"

Nia shifted herself to lean against the wall and pulled Clarke closer to her, letting Clarke rest her head on her shoulder. "What can I say. I have a weakness for a pretty face."

"No, Nia. Please, I'm being serious. I wan to know. I need to know."

"I heard the story of how you defeated the mountain. I was on my way to the mountain when we stumbled upon you. I knew who you were the moment I laid eyes on you. I seen how broken you were. So, I chose to believe the story. But, looking at you reminded me of my first kill and how it felt. I just thought that I could help you," she said. Clarke watched as she went back in time as she spoke.

"I don't want to be rude. But, how can I really trust you?" She watched Nia's reaction. Nia came back to the present, and looked at Clarke. "I heard what you did to Costia, because she was close to Lexa. How do I know your not going to do the same with me?"

Nia held Clarke's steady gaze as she answered. "If I wanted you dead Klark, you would be right now. I did not think that you were that close to Lexa, because of what she did to you.

And, even if you were close, I could imagine your pain due to the betrayal." Nia watched as she sparked Clarke's curiosity, so she continued to talk. "There is more to the story of what happened to Costia, then you think. I was still young when Lexa became the commander. Her mother and I used to be very close. That was until Lexa became the commander. A lot of my people didn't think it was wise when a 16 year old took command. They opposed her, it got worse when she tried to form the coalition. So they attacked her village, essentially killing her mother and father. I didn't know at the time what was happening. My brother was in the group. I found out later, after it was too late to stop it. I was also informed that Lexa had killed all of the warriors, but took my brother to torture him into giving her information on me. That is the reason why I took Kostia, I just wanted to get my brother back. He was the only family I had left. When I found out that she killed him, I did the same to Costia," Nia said with a pained expression.

"I had no clue that she did that," Clarke said with a surprised expression. "She never told me that part," her surprised turned to betrayal and pain. "There's a lot of things I don't know about Lexa," she spat the words out, her face scrunched up in disgust.

"I know how you feel Klark. I've been there trust me. I've know Lexa since she was a baby. But, right now, you need your rest," Nia said as she started to move out of the bed. She stopped when she felt a hand hold her arm. She smiled to herself, but quickly covered it before turning around to face Clarke.

"Can you please stay with me tonight? I don't want to be alone right now," she said with a pleading expression.

"If that is what you wish Klark," Nia said as she laid back on the bed. When she settled, Clarke came up next to her, and placed her head on Nia's shoulder. Nia lifted her arm around Clarke, and pulled her into her side. Clarke rested her head on Nia's chest as she placed her arm around Nia's middle. Within minutes, she drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, she rolled over to find her bed empty. She woke up, and looked around.

"Nia," she called out. When she got no reply, she shifted into a siting position as she leaned against the wall. When she looked down, she noticed the piece of paper lying on the pillow next to her. She reached over and grabbed it. She unfolded it, and started reading it.

 _Dear Clarke,_

 _I'm sorry to leave before you woke up. I had some business to attend to. I took the liberty to have my people prepare breakfast for you. As well as have them bring it to your room. I left one of my favorite people waiting outside your door to show you around the city. I have a feeling you will like what you see. If you find anything you like at the market, feel free to buy it. I left money for you with the guard that I assigned to you._

 _Your's truly_

 _Nia_

Nia was sitting in her thrown waiting for her most trusted warrior. She heard a knock on her door, then the door opened to reveal Roan, the queen's trusted warrior.

"You called for me, my Queen," he said as he walked into the room.

"Yes, Roan. I wanted to update you on my progress with the Sky Girl," she said with a wicked smile on her face. He nodded to show he was listening. "I told her the story about Kostia. As I predicted, our Heda has not told her the full story. She was taken by surprise with this new information. Which in turn, has caused her to trust me, and have more hatred towards her dear Heda," she said with pure excitement in her voice. She got up from her throw and made her way over to a table with drinks on it. "If things keep going like this, she will be on our side, and ready to do our bidding. I just have to keep playing my part," she said as she poured herself some water.

"That is good, my Queen. But, I must warn you. You must be careful while dealing with this Sky Girl. She is dangerous. She took down the mountain without any help from Heda. She might just turn on us. I don't want anything to happen to you," he said as he watched Nia stroll over to him.

"This is why I trust you completely, Roan. You have always looked out for me. But, I can handle the sky girl. And, pretty soon, Heda will be the one that will fear the Sky Girl," Nia said with a smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: Mount Weather

 **Hey guys. I just wanted to say that this chapter is about Lexa, and how she is dealing with everything that went down at the mountain. I've read so many fics that have nothing but Clarke's point of view on everything that happened at the mountain. As I said in the first chapter, I wanted to write something different. So, I decided that I'm going to have just as much of Lexa's feelings as well as Clarke's. Just remember when reading this that even though Lexa is the commander, she is still a 20 something year old women. So you will be seeing a whole new side of her then you are accustomed to. I hope you enjoy. Please tell me what you think through reviews. I would love to know if you like Lexa's perspective on things.**

"Sometimes you have to conceive a battle to win a war."

As Lexa walked way from Clarke, she did her best not to turn and go help Clarke as best she could. She knew she was doing the right thing, but a part of her knew that she had just lost her one chance of happiness. But she couldn't let any of her feelings show. She had to be strong, no matter how much she was breaking at the moment. She will give herself the chance to deal with this later, but right now she had to be the Heda, and get her people to safety.

How much longer am I going to sacrifice my happiness for them. I have lost so much for them. Lexa can't help but be resentful, just a bit, at her people, knowing that she had to do this for them. Just like she had lost her parents, Costia, Anya, and Gustus for them. Everyone she has ever cared about, she lost due to becoming the Heda. Shaking herself out of her thoughts, she turned to one of her more trusted warriors.

"Go to Camp Jaja and bring me word if they come back," Lexa said to the warrior. He nodded and took off towards the camp.

Indra, who watched the interaction and knew where he was going, had walked to her side. "Are you sure that is wise, Heda?"

"Indra, mind your place. I will do what I feel is necessary!," Lexa all but growled. She couldn't take anymore of this today.

They needed to make camp so she could get away from them. She needed her space. It was sad to think, but she could hardly look at her people without feeling resentment towards them. She had officially lost everyone she cared about, for them. No, I will not think like this. Maybe Clarke will find a way to beat the Mountain. I need her to find a way to live. I don't know what I will do if she dies there. I don't think I could survive her death. I had barely survived Costia's death.

After they had walked for what seemed like hours, Lexa turned to look back in the direction of the mountain. She took notice to how far they have walked. She turned to address her army. "We have walked far enough. We should set up camp here, and rest for the night. I need a small group to head out to hunt and get fire wood. Then, I need another group to start putting the tents up." With that, she turned and started to head towards Indra.

She finally found the warrior talking to Lincoln, she stayed in the shadows as she watched the interaction. When they were done talking, she watch Lincoln look around before he sneaked off. No doubt going to back to Octavia. Why couldn't that be me. Why do I always have to sacrifice everything for these people. She was pulled from her thoughts when she heard a snap of a twig from behind her.

"Heda, is there something you need?"

"Yes, have my tent made for me. I will be doing a permitter check."

"Heda, you should not go by yourself."

"Shof op, Indra." With that she walked away from the camp forming, and deep into the woods. She just kept walking, not thinking about it, just letting her feet carry her where they felt like going. Not caring if it could be dangerous. I wonder if she defeated the mountain. What if she is still alive. But, what if she's not alive. What if she was killed by the mountain men. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear Indra approach her until she spoke.

"Heda, your tent is ready."

She jumped when Indra spoke. She quickly recovered and got into stoic mode, hoping that Indra didn't notice her slip. "Why are you here, Indra?"

"You have been gone a while, Heda."

"Don't make me repeat myself, Indra."

"I came to make sure you are well, Heda."

"There is a reason that I am Heda, Indra. I can take care of myself."

"I know that Heda. But that is not the reason I came out here. I came to check on you because I know how hard it was for you to leave the Sky Girl."

This made Lexa snap. "Do not patronize me Indra." Lexa walked away towards camp. She felt Indra catch up, and walk at her side. She felt the glair that came with it. But, she chose to ignore it. She didn't care about anything anymore. That's the scary part. She could feel herself shut down. The only thing that she was grateful for, was that they walked back in silence.

When they got back to camp, Indra led her to her tent and let her be. She walked into the tent; she made her way over to the table that held the refreshments. She took the bottle of wine and grabbed a cup as she walked over to her thrown. She sat down and went to pour a cup when she looked at the bottle, and decided to just drink from the it.

She was half way through the bottle when she heard the tent flaps open. She looked up at who had the courage to disturb her in that moment. When she saw it was Indra, she brought her focus back to the bottle and went to take another drink. But, before she got the chance, the bottle was snatched out of her hands. She didn't have the chance to protest.

"This is not the way to handle the situation!" She jumped, not expecting Indra to scream at her. To drunk to keep her stoic demeanor, her shock was evident. "I get that you had feelings for the Sky Girl, and I can understand that the decision that you made is haunting you. But, you have to deal with it and stay strong for our people. You did the right thing."

Lexa laughed bitterly as she got up from her thrown and stumbled as she walked over to Indra. She grabbed the bottle from Indra and took a drink from it before talking. "IIIIf anyoneee else cameee into myyy tent anddd talked to meeee the wayyyy yoooou just did I woooould haveeee there heeead." She stopped talking as she took another drink. "III loveee heeer Indraaa. Aaaand Iii jussst left heeer aat theee moountaaiin too geet kiilleed. Thereee iiis nothiiing riiight aaboout whaat Iii diid. Leaveee meee Indraa."

"With the way you are acting right now. I do not think that is wise,"

"I SAID LEAVE!" Lexa growled. With that, Indra left her without another word. She stumbled over to her bed, stripped down to just a tank and boy shorts. She sat down on her bed as she drank herself to sleep.

3 Days Later

Lexa woke up with a missive hangover. Having drunk herself to sleep for the past three nights in a row has taken a toll on her physical and mentally. Laying in bed, she looked up at the top of the tent. Not knowing if Clarke was alive or dead was slowly killing her. She needed to know. She wished her warrior would come back soon with the news on Clark. But, at the same time she didn't want to know if Clarke is dead. She don't think she could handle it.

She started to get out of the bed, when her stomach started to roll and she felt herself get sick. She rolled off the bed and emptied the contents of her stomach. When she had nothing left in her; she walked on weak legs over to the other side of the section designed for sleeping, to the stand that held a bowl.

She cleaned herself up as best she could, and made her way over to the trunk in front of her bed of furs. She opened it up and started to take out her Heda suit. When she was done laying the clothes on her bed, she looked down in disgust. For the first time since Costia's death, did she feel the burden of being the leader of the army of the 12 clans.

She got dressed and walked to the front of the tent. Before she walked out, she stood and concentrated on controlling her emotions, while she put her stoic, commander mask on. She stood tall and raised her chin before exiting the tent.

She turned to the warrior standing outside her tent. "Tell Indra to have my tent cleaned, then have her find me when it is done." He nodded to her before he left. She turned on her heals and headed in the direction of the dining hall. She needed to get some food in her system to combat this god awful hangover. If I'm going to get through this day, I'm going to need to eat a lot. When she got to the dining hall, she was pleased that there weren't many left.

She made her way over to the table that held the food, and grabbed a plate. She took a little bit of everything, then made her way over to a table to start eating. She was half way done with her plate when Indra walked up to her.

"Is my tent cleaned?" She asked not looking up from her plate.

"It is all taken care of, Heda. But, I must say that this is the third night in a row that this has happened. Don't you thi-"

"If I wanted your opinion, Indra. I would have asked," she snapped at Indra. She watched as Indra clenched her jaw, but kept silent. "Leave me," she said in a more even tone. When she felt Indra leave she went back to eating.

She was leaving the dining tent, when she heard someone scream her name. She turned toward the scream and watched as a warrior walked up to her.

"Heda," he said as he bowed his head.

"Come, let us walk to my tent, then we can discuss your mission." They walked to her tent in silence. When they got to her tent she stood in front of the warrior standing guard. "Make sure no one disturbs us." He nodded his head yes.

She walked into the tent and up to her thrown. She sat down and watched the warrior come to a stop in front of her. "Speak."

"I did what you asked. I went to the camp and watched them come back from the mountain. Some were injured, others were fine," he said after he bowed his head in respect.

"What about Clarke." She held her breath as she waited for his response.

"She was not injured, but she did not go into the camp. She left by herself, with no supplies and a gun."

She let out her breath in relief, but she didn't let any emotion show. "I want you to go back and track her. I want you to follow her. Make sure to keep your presence unknown. I only want you to reveal yourself if it is a life or death situation," she said in an authoritative tone.

"Yes, Heda," he said as he went to leave.

"I want you to send Indra to me before you leave." He nodded his head and left the tent. When she was sure she was a lone, she let a out a sigh of relief and smiled. Thank the gods she is okay. She felt a tear run down her face as the tent flaps opened to reveal Indra. She quickly wiped it away, hoping it was not noticed.

Indra bowed her head. "You called for me?" She asked in a curious tone.

"I have a job for you. I have been informed that the Sky People have survived the mountain. I want you to take a small group, and head back. I want to see how they survived. I want to know what they did to make it out of that mountain," she said as she got up from her thrown, gripped the hilt of her sword and walked over to the refreshments table. She watched the emotions play out on Indra's face, from shock to amazement; as she poured herself some water. Indra nodded her head yes, then took off.

 **I just wanted to clarify something for you guys. When you see someone talking in italics that means they are talking in Trigedasleng.**

 **Translations:**

 **Shof op, Indra: Be quiet, Indra**

 **I was thinking of making next chapter about Clarke. We would go back to her being with the Ice Nation. Or maybe another chapter on Lexa. What do you guys think?**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3: 5 Days After Mount Weather

 **Sorry for the long wait guys. I had major writer's block. But here it is. I hope you guys like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

Clarke looked up to the place that her feet had carried her. She looked to the place where she last saw the commander. Tears started to fill her eyes, but before she let them fall, she closed her eyes and shook her head to get rid of them. She looked next to her at the little boy with angry red blotches covering his skin.

"You have to do this. Its the only way to make things better," he said to her as he stared into stormy blue eyes.

She shook her head before she walked into the mountain. She walked through the many halls and down flights of stairs until she reached her destination. As she walked down the hall, she covered her nose and mouth to hide from the stench of rotting flesh. She stood in the doorway as she looked upon the cause of her nightmares. She stood frozen. Memories of that night came crashing down on her. All the feelings that she had that night hitting her like a bullet, pierced her heart. _She left me. She left me here to die after everything that I had done for the stupid alliance. She left me after she told me she cared for me._ Tears started to form in her eyes. _She left me and this is what I'd done. I did this because of her. The tears started to fall._ She was pulled from her thoughts when the little boy grabbed her hand and led her to the middle of the room; where his body lay lifeless on the floor. She looked down at the body and that's all it took. She fell to the floor on her knees sobbing.

"How could you... do this to me," she said in between sobs. "After everything... I've done to make this work. You just... walked away... without a second thought. Was I... nothing to you. Well... I hope your happy... 'cause what I had to do killed me." She felt arms rapped around her. She looked up to see the boy holding her.

"You know what you have to do. It will stop everything, you will feel better when everything is over," he said as he directed her hand toward her gun. She watched as she grabbed her gun, took it from her belt and into her lap. She looked at it as if it were her salvation. After a moment, the boy directed her hand up and pointed the gun to her temple. "The pain will go away. Once you do this, you will be at peace."

She closed her eye and squeezed them shut. I just want to make it stop. _I can't handle the guilt. Why couldn't she say and fight. If she stayed, then I wouldn't have had to kill all of them._ Right as she was going to pull the trigger, she felt a hand direct the gun away from her head. Confused, she opened her eyes and looked to see whose hand it belonged to. She stopped crying as shock filled her senses when she saw her father. She was too shocked to hear what he was saying, but could see his mouth moving. The shock turned to guilt. She closed her eyes as tears started to fall again and went to turn away from him; he grabbed her chin and kept her face facing his.

"Honey, you have to listen to me. Please," he said frantically trying to get her to listen to him. "Please, open your eyes and look at me," he pleaded. She opened her eyes slowly. He bent down on his knees before the spoke. "You can't do this honey. This, is not who you are. You are stronger than th-"

"No I'm not dad. Look around you," she said as she gestured around the room. "You see this. I did this. I killed all these people. I-I," she said as burst into sobs. He rapped his arms around her as she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder and cried.

"Honey, this wasn't your fault. You did this for our people. You saved them. You did the right thing. Honey, please listen to me when I say this: I would have done the same thing if I was in your shoes. This DOES NOT make you a bad person. I love you honey, and I always will. You need to forgive yourself. Please, Clarke, do this for me," he pleaded. She stopped sobbing, but the tears stilled flowed freely. Not yet able to talk yet, she nodded her head yes. He helped her to her feet, she wiped the tears away and they left the room holding hands.

When she got to the entrance of the mountain, her father was gone; leaving her to her thoughts. She still felt the guilt strong, but it didn't cripple her as much as it did before. Her father's words bounced around her head. He didn't blame her for what she did. Even though she knew that it was all her imagination, a part of her still believed what he said. His words made it a little more bearable for her. She now knew that one day, somewhere long in the future, that she could forgive herself. But, for now, the only thing that will keep her going is those words that her father said.

A rumbling in her stomach brought her out of her thoughts. She looked down at her stomach and grabbed it. She just realized how hungry she was, and how she hasn't had a decent meal in almost a week. She only allowed herself to eat the berries that she found. She stayed clear of all the nuts and hoped that the berries that she eat were not poisonous. So, she left the mountain, feeling a little lighter than she did earlier, when she first came here.

4 Days Later

Clarke stumbled through the forest on shaky legs. She tripped on a fallen branch and fell to the floor. The hunger in her stomach became overwhelming as she grew weaker. She struggled to get up. She used the remainder of her energy to get up and start walking again. She heard a twig snap, she grabbed her gun and turned to see where the noise came from. She didn't see anything; maybe she was just being paranoid. She heard another twig snap, she was sure that wasn't her imagination. She turned toward the noise, just to see nothing. Then, all around her twigs snapped, she spin around so fast that she made herself dizzy. She fell to the floor as the dizziness overcame her. She saw movement out of the corner of her eyes. She tilted her head and watched as a woman with several other warriors came walking towards her. She tried to point her gun at them, but she was too weak to move. The last thing she remembers is seeing the woman bend down over her before everything faded to black.

#######

Lexa: 5 Days After Mount Weather

Lexa walked around the reconstruction of TonDC, looking at her warriors as they cleaned up the wreck and moved the bodies to the side. She continued to walk to the newly formed village surrounding the remnants of the fallen village. She headed straight to the healer's several huts to check on her people that she rescued from the mountain. As soon as they saw her, the ones that were able, got up and greeted her. They thanked her and told her how they never though they would be here this day. They said that they were forever grateful for getting them out of the mountain.

After that, they became unbearable for her to be around. She felt her stoic mast failing her, but she wouldn't let anyone see that. She politely excused herself and made her way back to her tent. She felt too overwhelmed, and felt her heart break a little more each time one of them thanked her for getting them out of the mountain. It was just too much for her. She shouldn't feel this way but she couldn't help it. She got them out and saved them; but in order to do it, she had to break an alliance and leave the woman she loves to die. She sighed as she walked over to the refreshment table, grabbed a glass and poured her wine. _I wish I can have more that one glass. But, sadly I have to keep up appearances. I can't afford to look week in front of them._ She was so rapped up in her thoughts she didn't hear the tent flaps open and her guard walk in.

"Heda, the group that you sent to the mountain is back. Indra would like to speak with you on the matter. Shall I let her her in," he asked after he bowed his head in respect.

"Sha, let her in," she said as she walked over to her thrown and sat down. He bowed his head and let the tent. Within a minute, Indra walked in and stood in from of her. She bowed her head before speaking.

"Heda, we did what you asked. We went into the mountain. It reeked of death. The stench got worse the deeper we got into the mountain. When we got to level five, Heda, I've never seen anything like it before. There were so many bodies. They were covered in red blotches. Everyone, including the children were dead. Not even the battle field after war looked like this. We left I hear some of the Warriors talking about the Sky Girl. Heda, they call her Wanheda."

As she listened to Indra, her eyes widened as realization dawned on her as to what Clarke had to do in order to get her people out of the mountain. She was having a difficult time breathing. Her heart started racing.

"Heda," she said with concern laced in her voice as she looked at her. When she got no response, she started to move toward, talking a cautious step. "Heda, talk to me please," she said in a much softer voice, still with a hint of concern. She watched as she saw the signs of a panic attack.

 _She killed all those people in order to save her own_ , she thought as she felt reality slip from her grasp. She didn't call the cup slip from her hands, nor did she hear Indra call to her, the only thing that she could focus on was what she had done to Clarke. _I've destroyed her, she not like me. She can't handle killing people. She cares too much for them._ She didn't feel Indra grasp her arms and gently shake her.

"Lexa! You need to fight this. It's just a panic attack. You are strong than this," Indra said. When she still got no response she did something that she hasn't done in years. She pulled Lexa into her arms and held her while she whispered calming words.

She didn't hear what Indra was whispering to her, but she started to feel the comfort of Indra holding her and the gentle strokes on her arm. She focused on Indra's breathing and tried to breathe along with her. She felt herself calm down. She stayed in Indra's arms for a few more moments, then pulled back.

"T-thanks Indra," she stuttered. She tried to collect herself, but failed as a tear ran down her cheek. She quickly wiped it away. She felt another one form in her eyes. She shut them and took deep calming breaths. When she was sure that she wasn't going to cry, she addressed Indra. "I know things haven't been okay between us for a while. But, I need you right now. Not only as my general, but as my sister. If my brother was here right now," she looked at Indra, and watched as she clenched her jaw. "He would want us to get along. Beja. I missed how close we used to be, before everything happened. I know we can never be the same, but it's been so long. We were both grieving, we both have said things that should have never been said. But, that's all in the past. Your the only family I have left." She watched as Indra processed what she said. She saw the pain and anger in her eyes, and for a minute there she thought that Indra was going to say no. She saw a flash of regret and understanding. She watched as Indra nodded her head.

"I don't know if we could ever be as we were, I've changed so much since that day. But, we can try. I know you have been going through a lot, you blame yourself for your parent's death, for Will's and Costia's death. And now you blame yourself for everything that has happened with Clarke. It took me a long time, but I'm finally telling you this: everything that happened is not your fault. You can't control everything or everyone. Your parents died protecting you because they loved you. Will died because he was protecting Costia, and Costia died because of the Queen. That was an accident, it's not your fault. And Clarke too. She's not your fault. You did what you had to do. It was a missed up situation, but there was nothing that you could have done," she said as she looked Lexa straight in the eyes.

She tried her hardest not to cry, but as soon as Indra said that it wasn't her fault for her brother's death, she burst into tears and sobbed. Indra rapped her arms around Lexa, and let her cry. It was the first time since Costia's death that she cried. Everything that she had been holding in came pouring out. All the guilt and pain she had locked in a box came out with each sob that escaped from her. They stayed like that until there were no more tears left to shed. They broke apart, and she looked at Indra. The warrior was struggling with her own feelings. She saw how Indra fought to hold back the tears that she never let herself shed for her husband.

"Losing Clarke is like losing Costia all over again. I haven't cared for anyone like I cared for Costia, then Clarke came and she just changed everything. I tried to not care for her, but I found myself caring for her a little more every time we were together. And now instead of killing her I've destroyed her. Clarke is not like us. She has a big heart and she cars so much. What she did at the mountain has ruined her. And I'm the one who did that to her." She stopped talking and took deep breaths as she felt the tears start to form again. She felt Indra put a hand on her shoulder and squeeze it. She looked up as Indra spoke.

"Lexa, that was not your fault. You were put in a situation that you had no control over, thus, forcing you to choose the lesser evil. You chose to save our people, you did what you had to do. In return Clarke and her people would have been killed. But they didn't. They survived. That is all that matters." She grabbed Lexa's hand and squeezed it, then brought her hand back to her side. "I'm going to have your lunch sent to you. I think you should rest for a bit. I will wake you in a few candle marks so you can make an appearance." Indra turned to leave but stopped when she felt a hand on her wrist. She turned to face Lexa. "Heda?"

"Can you send Echo to me? I would like to talk with her. And I would be grateful if you took part in it," she asked in a gentle tone.

"Sha, Heda. I will attend the meeting.," she said. She turned and walked out of the tent, leaving Lexa to clean herself up.

She got up from her thrown and walked into her sleeping area. She walked over to a table next to her bed of furs, grabbed her bottle of war paint and make her way over to the boll of water and the mirror. She rinsed her face, spending a good amount of time trying to get rid of the puffiness under her eyes. She looked at herself in the mirror, looking over everything, when she felt she did a good enough job at ridding herself of looking as though she cried, she applied the war paint. When she finished, she walked back to her thrown room. She smelt the food before she saw it. She walked over to the table and started eating. She was half way done with her plate when the tent flaps opened to reveal Indra and Echo. She stopped eating to look at them.

"You wished to see me, Heda," Echo asked after she bowed her head in greeting.

"Sha, I wanted to discuss a mission that I'm going to send you on," she shifted to look at Indra.

"I wanted you council on a matter that should be addressed as soon as possible. I wanted you opinion, however, I will still be going through with it. I just wanted to know what you thought are the risks involved."

"Sha, what do you need my council on," Indra asked.

Lexa turned so she could look at both of them. "I want you to go to Camp Jaha and talk to the Chancellor about the alliance. I want you to tell them that the alliance still holds. That, I will do everything in my power to show them that they can trust us again. If they still are resistant, then and only then, can you tell them what really happened at the mountain. Why I had to abandon them," she said with such conviction that both Indra and Echo looked at her like she was crazy. She turned to look at Indra. "What do you think?"

"I think that would be a good idea, Heda. There is just one concern I have. Is it wise to tell them what really happened at the mountain. They would see it as us being weak and cowards," said Indra.

"Not the Sky People. They would see it as us trying to protect them as much as we could. They would still be upset, but they would look at it as we had a reason to leave them," she said as she looked at Indra. She gave Indra a moment to think before she asked "did you have any other concerns?"

"There is just one more. Heda, what happens if they say no?"

"They wouldn't do that, Indra. They need us. They don't know how to survive the winter without us. They know that, we know that, that's why they will say yes." She turned her her attention to Echo. "I want you to leave now. Bring me word of what they say in a few days time." With that, Echo took her leave, leaving Indra and Lexa alone.

 **Please tell me what you though of the chapter. And comments or thoughts of what you thought of the chapter, or what you would like to have in the next chapter. Feel free to PM or review.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Forest Green Eyes

 **Hey guys, sorry for the wait. School has been crazy. But anyway, this chapter is about Clarke and Nia present day. I wanted to have Lexa in here too but it wouldn't seem right going from the present to the past. So, I've decided to have the next chapter about Lexa. I hope you guys like it.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Clarke walked toward Nia's room. She thought about her day, how she went down to the market and got some art supplies. How Nia had walked into her room while she was painting and watched her for a few moments before startling her. She turned around so fast, she tripped on over her own feet and went down right on top of Nia. In the process she smeared paint all over Nia. She smiled just thinking about it.

Ever since she first woke up with Nia next to her she's felt safe. Nia made her feel safe by just being with her. She has been sweet and gentle with her since day one and has never given her a reason to doubt her. Always honest with her. _I can't believe it has been two weeks that I've been here. I hope she says yes when I ask her._ She was so caught up in her thoughts, she didn't realize that she had made it to her destination. She looked up at the door and wondered where Nia's guards were. She knocked on the door and waited.

"Roan, I told you I didn't want to be distributed," Nia said as she walked to the door and opened it. "Oh, um... Clarke. I'm sorry, I thought you were Roan. Please come in," she said as she opened the door wide and stepped to the side to let Clarke in. Clarke looked at her with a questioning look. Nia nodded her head yes and Clarke walked in to the room. She swore the more time she spent with Nia the more she reminded her of Le- her. She turned around to face Nia. "What can I do for you Klark?"

She flinched, but recovered within a split second. _Damn, the way she says my name is just like her_. "I..." She cleared her throat to get rid of the crack in her voice and started again. "I just wanted to see if we could sleep together again." She paused for a second and swore she saw a ghost of a smile on Nia's lips. "I mean in your room," it was a statement but her voice betrayed her and made it sound like a question. There was silence for a moment before Nia spoke.

"Is that what you want, Klark?" Nia asked as she searched Clarke's face for something.

When Clarke found her voice again she replied. "Yeah. I mean, we always sleep in my room. I just thought that maybe you would like a change and sleep in your bed for the first time in a few weeks." She looked down, not really sure what she should do or say. Since the first time Clarke had a night terror and Nia found out about them, Nia has spent every night with her. The moment she started to have one, Nia was there to chase them away. It felt good to have her there. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't realize that Nia walked over to her. She gasped when she felt Nia's finger under her chin. Her skin tingling under Nia's touch. _This feels different then when she touched me. When she touched me there was sparks and my skin felt like it was on fire. This feels safe._ She didn't resist when Nia gently lifted her face to look her in the eyes. Her eyes went wide at the resemblance between Nia and her. They were still so young. Nia couldn't be more then 9 or 10 years older then her. They both had their stoic demeanor but let their eyes speak volumes. Her thoughts were cut off by Nia's face coming closer to hers. Her breath hitched when she felt Nia breathe next to her ear and down her neck, sending shivers down her body. Nia smiled at Clarke's reaction to her.

"If that is what you wish, Klark. But…" Nia breathed heavily again, sending shivers down her body as she moved to look Clarke in the eyes. She saw Clarke's eyes go dark as her pupils dilated. "I have to bathe first. You can make yourself comfortable while I'm gone. I will be back shortly," she said as she moved her hand away from Clarke's face and turned to leave.

As she watched Nia walk away she struggled with her desires. She wanted to have Nia close to her and touch her again. She wanted to feel that tingling sensation again, but she wasn't ready for something more. At the same time her desire to have Nia touch her was too much. "Wait." Nia stopped walking and turned around raising her eyebrows in question. Clarke walked over to her and hugged her. She tensed up for a few moments before she hesitantly rapped her arms around Clarke. "Thank you," she whispered into Nia's ear. Clarke broke the embrace and looked at Nia. Nia nodded her head before she turned and walked out the door, closing it behind her.

################

As Nia closed the door behind her, she lead against it and breathed trying to get her heart rate under control and groaned at the heat between her legs. I hope she didn't see the reaction that she had on me. She got herself under control and walked toward the room for bathing. When she got into the room she quickly stripped and got into the tub of warm water. She let herself relax. She hear a knock on the door.

"Sorry to disturb you Ai Kwin but Allie is here. And she wishes to speak with you," a voice called from behind he door.

She sighed before she replied, "Let her in." She sank deeper into the bath as Allie entered the room.

"I wanted to check in with you on the progress you are making," said Allie in a flat tone.

"I'm working on getting Clarke to our side," she replied.

"That was not part of the plan. You are waisting time that we don't have. You should be focusing on the task at hand," said Allie annoyed.

"I am focusing on what I need to do," Nia said hotly. She paused and took a calming breath. "By getting Clarke on our side, we can get her to kill Heda for us," she said in a much calmer voice.

"Do what you must. But just make sure she dies. The plan will fail if she lives." With that Allie turned and left, leaving Nia to think about what could happen if she fails.

###############

She looked into those forest green eyes, usually so guarded but now held so much emotion. She stood rooted to her spot, too mesmerized by the girl in front of her to realize what she was doing. She felt a hand gently grab the back of her neck, while those full lips captured her's. Her body reacted before her mind knew what she was doing and kissed back. Her whole body felt like it was on fire and her heart rate sped up as she grabbed the girl's arm. Her brain finally caught up with her body. She wanted this and more so much but she wasn't ready. It was too soon, Finn had recently died and she hadn't had proper time to grieve. When she pulled away to look into those forest green eyes, everything changed. The once emotionally filled forest green eyes turned stone cold and stoic. The once clean, soft face now covered in blood.

"I do care Klark. But I made this choice with my head and not my heart…" Her heart dropped into her stomach, she felt like she was going to be sick. She couldn't process what had just happened, didn't understand anything other than the person that she had fallen in love with had just betrayed her. "May we meet again," she said as she turned to leave…

She sat up straight, gasping for air as sweat dripped down her neck. She closed her eyes as she tried to control her breathing. But shot them open as those familiar forest green eyes stared back her. She quickly and quietly snuck out the bed and room. She went into her room and got the sword that Nia brought her. She left her room and headed toward the training room.

She had been practicing her sword fighting for about an hour, trying to perfect all the moves that she had learned over the past two weeks. She tried her hardest to keep her mind blank and focus on the movements of the sword. She was so focused on her task that she didn't realize she wasn't alone anymore.

"Klark," she reacted before she could think and turned around, sword raised up and went to strike whoever snuck up on her. But before she got the chance she was knock to the floor with someone straddling her. Her mind started to clear a little as she realized who was on top of her. Her eyes widen comically, heat pooled between her thighs, her heart rate sped up and her mouth went dry. She cleared her throat to try to rid herself of the dryness.

"Nia?," she asked breathless. "Why aren't you sleeping?"

"I woke up with you gone. I looked for you when the guards told me you went to get your sword. I figured you would come here," she said nonchalantly. "I won't push you, but Klark would you care to tell me why would decided to train in the middle of the night?" Nia asked, concerned laced her voice.

She shook her head no. "I don't want to talk about it." _Damn, I need her to get off of me. But, hey, at least she got my mind off of everything. Something that I was struggling with when I was training._ "Can we get up," she asked breathless. _Idiot, could you be anymore obvious?_ Nia smirked.

"Something bothering you Klark?" She said as she lowered her face until they were a centimeter away from each other. Clarke's breath hitched, which made Nia smirk again. She stared into Clarke's eyes and watched as desire took over. She pulled back and helped Clarke up. "Let us get back to bed. I will train with you tomorrow. How does that sound?" She asked as she opened the door for Clarke.

She shook her head to get the desire out and answered "Yeah, I'd like a lot." _If today was anything to go by, I'm screwed. I obviously am not over Her, yet I feel something towards Nia. I just hope its lust and not anything else. That is something I don't need right now._ She closed her eyes to clear her thoughts but were met with forest green staring back at her. _Fuck._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Camp Jaha Part 1

 **I just wanted to say that some of the character's play a different role in this story from the tv show.** **I hope you like how I portrayed Echo in this chapter. You might find it to not have that much action but it is very important for the future. Please fell free to tell me what you thought about the chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

8 Days After Mount Weather

The dinning tent was full to the brim with warriors when Lexa walked in followed by Indra. Since their talk Indra hasn't left her side. Always there whenever needed. Lexa hasn't pick up a drink since that day; not like she hasn't tried though. Every time she goes to take a drink, Indra is there; Indra would snatch it out of her hand and force her to talk about what is driving her to drink. Which usually ended up with her bursting into tears and screaming. Indra would be there, hold her and tell her that its okay. Last night was no exception. She even got so close as to have taken a sip from the cup before Indra came bursting into her tent. She was furious with her, Indra even screamed at her. Thinking back to it, she was even a little scared, though she didn't show it and wouldn't ever admit that to anyone.

"Heda," Indra said as she turned to look at Lexa.

"Sha Indra," she said.

"There is no table for us to eat at."

"I see that. I am going to get my share and eat in my tent. You are more than welcome to join me if you like." Indra looked at her and she swore she saw a ghost of a smirk on Indra's face. This reminded her of the times before everything went to hell. Back when they both were happy with the people they loved. They were so close back then. _I hope we are getting back to that way. It feels like we are. But I'm not sure though._

"Sha, Heda." They grabbed plates and their food then headed out of the tent. The walk to her tent was silent but it was a comfortable silence. When they got back to the tent, she had one of her guards get them two seats. They sat at her table and talked.

"Mochof, Indra," she said with a small smile. "I don't think I could have gotten though these last few says without drinking if it wasn't for you," she said with gratitude clear in her voice.

"You don't have to thank me Lexa. I do care about you." Indra stopped eating and put her fork down to give Lexa her undivided attention before she spoke again. "Even if we didn't have that conversation the other day, I still would have been there for you. I was there for you even before we talked." She stopped talking as a smirk formed on her lips. "You were just to stubborn to realize it. Right after we left the Mountain, I never left your side for that long. I knew how much that hurt you. I knew it would be like losing Her all over again. So I kept a watch on you. Thats how I knew whenever you would drink to much or just started drinking. I would try to stop you but you would just be too stubborn to let me help. So, I waited for you to need my help."

"I am not that stubborn," she said with a smile. "But you are right, I don't really accept help unless I is something that I never do. So, again, mochof for this."

"Lexa, we are family; it is what I'm here for. But, pro." They ate their food in silence after that. They were mostly done with their food when they heard the tent flap open as one of her guards came in.

He bowed his head in respect before talking. "Heda, Echo is back. She wishes to talk to you right away."

"Sha, let her in." With that, he bowed his head and left. Two seconds later, Echo walked into the tent. The look on Echo's face had Lexa worried, but she held her stoic demeanor. Echo walked up to them and bowed her head. "Chit kom au (What happened)," she asked trying to keep her worry from her voice.

"Heda, they want to talk to you." She pause to take a deep breath before continuing. "I told them about what happened in the Mountain when they wouldn't hear of the alliance. They didn't believe me when I told them. They want to hear it from you," she bit the inside of her mouth waiting for Lexa's response, thinking she was going to feel her anger.

"Sha, Indra and I will finish eating. Then we will meet you at the gate with my guards. We leave as soon as possible," she said as she looked at Indra for confirmation that she would come. Indra nodded her head and moved to get herself situated.

"No, Heda, you misunderstand me. They want _just_ you and I-"

"No! She will NOT go alone with you," Indra screamed as she stood up from her chair.

"She will if she wants the alliance to hold," Echo said as she raised her voice to match Indra's.

"How can we trust you!" She moved in front of Echo as she grabbed her knife. "Your Ice Nation-"

"Em Pleni," Lexa said as she stood up from her chair. Indra sheathed her sword and retreaded next to her still pinning Echo with an angry glare. "Indra does have a point Echo. How can we trust you. You are Ice Nation and enemy to Trikru," Echo clenched her jaw as her eyes flashed pain. Lexa didn't miss a beat, so when she said Ice Nation and enemy she saw the flash of pain in Echo's eyes. She raised her eyebrows in a silent question. She watched as Echo fought with her feelings. She waited for an answer, when Echo showed no signs of talking she stated "ron ai ridiyo op, Echo (Speak true)."

Echo closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she spoke. "I was banished from the Ice Nation," Echo never looked anywhere but at Lexa, she saw Indra tense up next to Lexa when she was talking. Before she let them say anything she continued, "I was beaten, tied and dragged towards the mountain and left for dead. That is how I was trapped in the mountain," she stopped talking to take a shaky breath. "The reason I was banished is because The Queen caught me having an affair with her lover," she paused again to stare intensely at Lexa before she said the next part. "If it was not for me being her sister, I would have suffered the fate of her lover. He was beaten in front of me, wiped 100 times then when he finally couldn't take anymore she went up to him and cut off his head." She fought back the tears as much as she could, she tried her hardest not to let it show that she was shaking. She fist her hands and placed them behind her back. She breathed deeply for a few moments before she continued. "All this was done right in front of me. Every time I struggled, or tried to fight to get to him it would just make things worse." She finally tore her eyes away from Lexa and looked at Indra for a moment before turning her attention back to Lexa. She dropped to her knees and bowed her head. "With everything I said, I wanted you to know so there is no doubt about what I'm about to do. I pledge my loyalty to you Heda, I would like to become Trikru."

Lexa was truly stunned. As she listened to Echo tell her story, she was brought back to the memory of Costia. She tried her hardest not to let it show that she was on the verge of tears, but when Echo got down on her knees and pledged her loyalty and said she wanted to become Trikru, all of her emotions were put on hold. She gathered her thoughts for a second and lightly touched Indra's arm to make sure she wouldn't say anything before the spoke. "I understand your pain, I've been there myself. But what you are trying to do is very serious. Once you do this, there is no going back. Are you sure you want to do this?"

Echo kept her head bowed as she answered. "I understand all of this. I am completely aware of my actions and what they mean. I do not wish to be Ice Nation anymore. I want to be Trikru. When I was in the mountain, I though that was it for me. I thought I was going to die in there. When you saved me, I found myself not wanting to go back to that horrid place. I want to stay here."

Lexa stood up and turned to Indra. "Do you accept her as one of your own?"

Indra's jaw was set as she looked into Lexa's eyes. She hesitated for a moment before she spoke. "Sha Heda, I accept her." She turned to look at Echo, still kneeling on the ground. "Gyon op." She waited for Echo to stand before she said the next part. "If you betray her I will personally kill you. Give me your hand." She took Echo's hand and went to grab her knife when Lexa handed her's over. Indra took the knife then focused on Echo. "Do you pledge your loyalty to the Trikru and give up any ties you have to Azgeda?"

"Sha, I pledge my loyalty to Trikru and give up everything from Azgeda," Echo said with determination.

Indra nodded as she stated "We seal this by blood." She lifted the knife to Echo's hand and sliced the palm, then did the same to her's. They grabbed each others hand, held tight and waited for Lexa. Lexa took the blade back from Indra, and sheathed it. She nodded at them to let go.

Once they let each other's hands go she spoke. "This ceremony of declaration to become Trikru has been approved and witnessed and is now done. When you complete the take of proving your loyalty, you will then take the test of survival. If you survive, then a feast will be held in the village you wish to reside in." As she spoke Echo bowed her head in respect. "Now we must prepare for our trip to the Skaikru camp. As well as what will happen if I do not return." She looked to Indra who had her stoic mask on but she could see the worry hidden deep in her eyes.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: Camp Jaha Part 2

 **Hey guys, sorry for the late update. I've been busy with schoo and work. I just wanted to get something up to hold you guys over until I get the real thing out. I'm going to try to get a full chapter out by Friday. I'm going to be working on it for the next couple of days. The next chapter is going to be all about Lexa. And I promise you, the next chapter Lexa will find out where Clarke is and her reaction to that. But for now, I hope you enjoy this short fill in. Please, don't forget to leave me a review or PM me to tell me your thoughts, criticism, what you would like to have in the coming chapter etc. I love to hear from you guys.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

9 Days after Mount Weather

Lexa stared at the tent roof willing herself not to get up and drink. This was the first night that she was without Indra to prevent her from drinking. _I wonder if Indra told Echo to keep me away from drinks. What if me drinking is the only way for me to get through these next couple of days? What am I going to do If they are still angry and don't want an alliance_?"

"Heda, na ai min yu op (can I enter)" Echo asked from outside the tent.

"Sha, min yu op Echo(Yes, enter)," she said as she got up from her furs. She walked over to a bowl of water and washed her face as Echo walked in.

"Heda, I finished packing my tent up, I am ready to leave when you are," she said after she bowed her head.

"I am ready now," she said as she walked over and grabbed her bag and left the tent. She let out a sigh as she closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind. _I have to be strong. Indra is right, I have every right to grieve and let myself feel all the pain but that is it. I can not let it control me. I am Heda of the twelve clans, I am the greatest warrior of my people. I have been through so much and still lived, I can get through this too._ She opened her eyes and became stoic. It will take a while, but she would get better. As much as she hated getting help from anyone, she knew she can trust Indra to help her get through all of this. She straighten her posture and walked over to where her and Echo's horses were. She waited for Echo to be finished; when it was all said and done, she mounted her horse and waited for Echo to join her before she took off in a trot.

They would have been there late last night if she hadn't wanted to stop for the night to prepare herself for what was to come. She had gotten what she needed and was now somewhat prepared to deal with the Sky people. She hoped that they would except everything she has to offer and would not fight her. But she was prepared to deal with it. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't realize that they were were about to clear the trees and were able to see the camp. They stopped for a second to look at the view. She felt Echo's eyes on her and turned to look at her. Echo asked her if she was ready with just her look and she nodded.

They were on the move again, within a few minutes they were a few yards away the gate. They stopped when they heard voices that came from the over side. A few moments later, the gate opened reviling the Chancellor, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln, and Raven. They continued to ride until they were feet away from the group. She dismounted followed by Echo, while she held her reins. Kane was the first to greet her.

"Commander," he said and he offered her his hand. She hesitated for a split second that no one noticed before taking the offered hand. "I'm glad you came," he said with a soft smile. She could see the hope of keeping peace.

She offered him a nod before she said, "I was informed that you would like me to be present when negotiations to renew the alliance were being discussed." She made sure to keep her stoic demeanor in tact as she took in the people who surrounded her. She could tell that everyone including Kane showed signs of distrust. And she couldn't blame them. If she was in their place she would have been the same. She just hope that they want this as much as she does.

"Yes, of course. Follow me, we will discuss this in the council room," he said as he turned toward the huge metal ship in the middle of the camp. Before she could ask Echo to take care of the horses, one of the guards went to take the reins from them. She gave them a skeptical look before having the reins over. She headed after Kane and spared a last glance at their receding horses. They were soon entering the ship and being led through hallway after hallway before they stopped on front of a door. Kane opened the door and for her and she walked in followed by Echo, Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven and Lincoln. They all took a seat at the table in the middle of the room. They sat in silence for long minutes just staring at each other. She looked at Echo through the corner of her eye and drew strength from her presents.

 _I can do this. I have to do this. I can't let Clarke down again. These people are important to Clarke, she would be destroyed if anything happened to them. I have to convince them to become the 13th clan. I owe them this, If they were part of the coalition..._

Kane was the first to break the silence that overcame them. "Is it true what Echo said about the deal at the mountain," he asked in a neutral tone.

She sat a little straighter and lifted her chin up. "Yes. It is true,"'she said keeping her face emotionless. "I had no choice. No one knows this. Only Indra and the Warriors that were with me at the time know about the truth." She looked into everyone's eyes before she spoke again. "I would appreciate it if this would not be told to anyone outside this room. I was in the process of making you the 13th clan before I took the deal." She paused for a second to give them time to process what she just said. "This is the reason I am here now. I am offering Skaikru a chance to become the 13th clan," she said before all hell broke loose.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Camp Jaha Part 3

 **I know I said that I would have this chapter posted on Friday, but after last weeks episode I was so heart broken that this was the first day since then that I could pick this up. I will continue writing this, as well as have some things from the third season in here. But I WILL NOT have that scene in here. Lexa is very much alive to me, and thats how I will keep going. I WILL NOT except her death. It didn't happen and thats final. With that said, I couldn't really write that much for this chapter cause I'm still messed up from the episode. But, I promise the next chapter will be longer. If anyone wants to talk about what happened in the last episode, I'm here. You can leave a comment or PM me.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing**

9 Days after Mount Weather

Everyone started screaming at the top of their lungs. Echo and Lexa shared a look before everyone was silenced by Abby.

"ENOUGH!" Between the anger in her voice and the look she was shooting everybody left no room for disobedience. "Everyone, needs to calm down and stop screaming," Abby said as calmly as she could. Abby took a couple more moments to make sure everyone would comply before she turned to Lexa and Echo. "Let's say we take you up on your offer," Abby looked her dead in the eye as she spoke. "What exactly would you get out of this?" Her words were dripping with skepticism.

"You have every right not to trust me. But what I am offering is something that would benefit both of us-" she was interrupted by Bellamy.

"That's not answering the question at hand, _Commander."_

She internally cringed with how venomous he said her title. Echo tensed beside her and went to say something, but she stopped Echo when she raised her hand. Echo looked at her with an 'are you serious right now' look. She raised her eyebrows at Echo stating 'would you defy my order'. Echo bowed her head in submission. Lexa forced back to Bellamy and chose to ignore the looks Echo and her were receiving. "To answer your question, I get peace." She knew they were about to interrupt her again, but she didn't give them the chance to. "Let me finish before you speak," she gave them a look that didn't allow for any arguments. "We have never had peace before. But now that the Mountain is defeated, there is a good chance for peace. I would like to give my people that. Together we can do great things. But I offer more than just an alliance." _Here we go._ She took a deep breath before she spoke again. "I will not apologize for the choice that I made at the Mountain. It was the best one for everyone. You already know what would have happened if I hadn't taken the deal," she said as she looked at everyone. They had a mixture of distain and understanding written on their faces. "But, with that said I don't ever want to be put in that position again. The only way that could happen is if you become the 13th clan." When she was done, everyone was looking at her with expressions of disbelief.

Kane was the first one to snap out of the silence that fell upon them. "I think we can all agree to what you just said. But, you must surely know that we don't really trust you."

"I plan to prove that you can trust me." Bellamy snorted and both Abby and Kane gave him a look that silenced him.

"Okay, you make a good point. But what exactly do we get out of becoming the 13th clan" Abby asked.

"You would get to trade with Polis, get help when needed and if you are attacked the army of the clans would defend you as well as fight by your side."

"And other than peace, what do you get out of this?"

"You have technology that can benefit all of us. And, Abby you are an amazing fisa. You could train so many people in the medical field. Which means less death."

"And how would you prove to us that we could trust you?"

"If you would allow me, I would go back to TonDC and get a handful of warriors, hunters, farmers and carpenters. I would bring them here and teach you how to survive the coming winter. And I would be here helping with however I can. That is if you allow me to."

"Commander, could you give us a few hours to decide," Abby asked. Lexa nodded her head and went to stand up, followed by Echo.

"If you feel more comfortable, Echo and I will make camp outside the wall." She looked straight at Abby. Abby shook her head no.

"That won't be necessary, you can make camp inside the walls. It will be safer than the woods," Abby said. With that Lexa and Echo left the room followed by Abby, Kane, Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy. Once they were out of the Ark Lexa turned to Abby and Kane.

"Can you tell me where the stable is?"

Before anyone could could answer, Lincoln stepped up. He bowed his head in respect. "I could show you and help you set up camp."

Lexa nodded her head. "Thank you Lincoln, that would be greatly appreciated." Her and Echo followed Lincoln to the stables. They grabbed their bags and followed Lincoln to an open area to the side of the Ark. They set up camp in silence. Sensing someone staring at her, Lexa looked up at the person. Their eyes locked, amid she was shocked to see Jaha there. She thought he was out in the waist land looking for the City of Light. But here he is, watching her with an emotionless expression. The only thing giving away his feeling were his eyes, which shown with hatred. She suppressed a shudder from the intensity of the hatred that he was glaring her way. She was brought out of her staring contest with Jaha by Echo.

"Heda," she said getting Lexa's attention. Lexa turned around to face Echo. She was so distracted that she didn't realized that the texts were set up already.

"Sha Echo."

"Lincoln and I have finished making camp. We are going to go out hunting. Would you like to come?"

 _Maybe hunting will distract me, and get me out of here. Although Jaha was doing a pretty good job at that. Maybe if they accept the offer, I can ask Abby and Kane about it. They might be able to give me some information about him._ "Sha," she said as she went for her bow and arrows. As they walked to the gate Octavia joined them. _She's becoming more and more like us overtime I see her. Maybe after, when this is all said and done I will ask her if she wants to train again. It will take some convincing on my part with Indra. But the girl has potential, she would make an excellent warrior._ They walked out of the fence without a word from anyone. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Camp Jaha part 4

 **Sorry this took me so long guys. It won't happen again. I just finished writing this, so my fault for any mistakes there are. Hope you enjoy. I promise next chapter will have Clarke in it. Please review and tell me your thoughts and feeling about the chapter. I love to hear from you guys.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Lexa felt much better when they returned with a two headed dear and a few rabbits. Her peacefulness only lasted a few moments after they walked through the gate. They were immediately greeted with Kane and Abby. She internally groaned. She was hopping that she had at least a couple more minutes before she needed an answer. She was still exhausted; she hardly got any sleep. Whenever she would close her eyes she would be plagued with dreams of Clarke. She mentally shook herself as she prepared for the long meeting that she no doubt will face. As per normal, when Kane and Abby reached them; Kane was the first to greet her.

"Commander," he said as he bowed his head.

"Commander," Abby said as she mimicked Kane's action. "We would like the meeting to resume where we left off... if you don't mind," she said as if an afterthought. She nodded in answer and followed Abby and Kane to the council room. Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln and Raven were already there when they walked in. They all took a seat at the table before talking.

"Have you made a decision on my proposal," she asked.

"Yes we have," Abby said, then looked at Kane.

"We accept your proposal, we have agreed that it would benefit both sides if we become the 13th clan," Kane said.

She nodded in agreement before she said "You made the right choice. I will Leave in the morning for TonDC and be back the next day with everyone I promised. As of right now, this is just another alliance until Clarke comes back. Then the ceremony will take place and you will officially become the 13th clan." She looked around the room at everyone as she talked. "Even though we will only be in an alliance I will treat you as though you have completed the ceremony," she said matter-of-factly.

"And how do we know you won't just betray us again," Bellamy asked. Clearly not pleased with the turn of events.

"Because I don't want another war. For the first time in years, my people have peace. I wouldn't do anything that could jeopardize that," she said without a second thought. She looked around the room before she said, "Anyone else has another concerns that they wish to share?" She looked over the room again, seeing no one speak up she continued, "When I leave, I would like you and Kane to go around and see what each person would like to be taught. They will all begin training when I get back. I will also supply swords and daggers for your guards. They will be taught how to properly defend themselves incase the need arises. Do you have any objections?"

No one spoke up. Abby dismissed the meeting and everyone headed out of the room. Octavia and Raven came up to her and Echo. "Octavia. Raven," she acknowledged them as she stopped walking. Both girls bowed their heads in respect.

"Heda, I would like to continue my training; if its possible," Octavia said in a strong voice. Lexa looked at her with amusement.

"I will talk it over with Indra when I get there. I can't make any promises that she will take you back as her seken, but I will do my best."

"Mochof, Heda," she said excitedly. She bowed her head again before she left with a pep in her step.

She turned her attention to Raven who stayed behind. "Is there something I can do for you," she said with a raised eyebrow. Raven shifted her weight to her good leg.

"Yes, umm," she cleared her throat before continuing. "I would like to learn how to defend myself with a dagger."

She gave the girl a look over and noticed how she kept her weight mostly to her good leg. "Yes," she said after a minute.

"Yes as in I can," the brunette asked uncertainly.

"That is correct. Be ready the day after I get back. We will start just after dawn," she said in a stern voice.

Raven smiled brightly before the words sunk in. She furrowed her brows and asked "We as in..."

"We as in you and I," Lexa finished for her.

She gasped in surprise before she said, "Thank you." She bowed her head and left.

Lexa watched they brunette walk away amused at her reaction. She turned and started walking out of the ship.

"Heda?"

"Sha, Echo."

"Do you think it wise for the girl to be trained," she questioned. "She is injured."

"Sha, she is. But she is strong and needs this. She feels helpless because of her injury. She feels that this will make up for it. But, because she is hurt, I will be the one training her to insure she doesn't suffer from anymore injuries." Echo nodded her head in agreement. The rest of the walk to the tents was silent. When they reached the tents Echo bowed her head before she retired. She stayed outside and looked up to the sky. She wondered where Clarke was and if she was safe. She sighed before turning and walking into her tent. She undid her armor and placed them next to her furs before lying down. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her head of Clarke. Her last thought before sleep took her was _I hope you like what I'm doing. Its all for you._

Blue eyes and blonde hair plagued her dreams. She screamed Clarke's name before waking in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. She looked around trying to remember where she was as she got her heart rate under control. Slowly the events of the previous day came back to her. She sighed as she thought of the time it could be before she got out of bed. She stripped her damp clothes and dressed into new ones before leaving the tent. She looked towards the sky and saw the first signs of sunrise. She sighed a breath of relief that she slept through the night. _Maybe Indra was right, this is me getting better._ She smiled at the thought as she walked over to Echo's walked in and was shook to find that Echo was no where to be found. She walked out of the tent and was greeted by Echo.

"Heda," she said as she bowed her head.

"Echo, I was just coming to get you. We leave as soon as everything is packed. I will go find someone to inform the Chancellor of our departure," she said before she walked off. She walked around to the front of camp, when she spotted Lincoln. She walked over to him. He bowed his head in respect.

"Heda," he said.

"Lincoln. Can you inform the Chancellor and Kane that I have left for TonDC."

"Sha, heda."

"Good." Before she turned and walked away she said, "You are no longer a natrona." She didn't see his shocked expression as she walked away.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

 **Hey guys. Sorry this chapter is so late. School has been kicking my a**. I just finished this chapter, and didn't proof read, so all the mistakes are on me. This chaper is longer than normal. Hope you guys enjoy it. Don't kill me with what happens though. Feel free to leave a review telling me what you liked/disliked or how you felt about the chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

It was a few candle marks before nightfall when Lexa and Echo reached TonDC. Indra was pacing by the gate. You could hear her screaming from deep into the woods. Lexa and Echo shared a look before they cleared the woods.

"Do you think she has been like this since we left" Echo asked.

"Most likely. I know if I was her, I would be doing the same thing. Sending family into enemy territory is never easy." She took a deep breath as she closed her eyes. "I expect she hasn't slept since we left. Come, lets hurry up; before Indra kills someone." Echo snorted, but coughed to cover it. Lexa half smiled before turning stoic. As they got closer they heard a couple of warriors try to get Indra's attention, but she was too busy yelling at anyone that got in her way. Lexa brought the horse into a gallop to the gate and dismounted as quick as she could. She walked over to Indra; a small smile played at her lips as she saw a warrior twice Indra's size shrink under her anger. _Indra can be quite terrifying when she is worried_. "Indra." Indra didn't hear her as she kept on screaming at the warrior. "Daun ste pleni," she said as she rested her hand on Indra.

Indra turned around, ready to kill the person who touched her. Her stance changed to fight mode as she turned around. As her eyes landed on the person said hand belonged to, instantly her demeanor changed to relief. She sighed "Lexa?" The warrior Indra was screaming at took the opportunity to leave; as he all but ran.

Lexa removed her hand and held it out for a warrior's greeting. Indra took it still in a haze. "Come, Indra. Let us talk in my tent." She motioned for Indra to follow, as she walked to her tent, Echo trailing behind them. She was about to walk into her tent when she heard Indra's voice.

"You can wait out here," Indra said. Lexa turned about around and put her hand on Indra. Indra tensed for a second before her relaxed.

"No, Indra. She comes inside with us. She needs to hear what is being said." Indra clenched her jaw before nodding. Nothing more was said they turned to walk into the tent. Lexa walked over to her thrown and sat down.

Indra couldn't wait any longer to find out what happened. "What was their answer? Did they decide to become the 13th clan" she asked as she clasped her hands behind her back.

"After much convincing, yes they did. We will head back there tomorrow with a group consisting of: warriors, farmers, builders and hunters."

"Why are we bringing them with us," Indra asked annoyed.

"Because they may not be a part of the collation yet, but they will be once Wanheda returns. They need to know how to take care of themselves so they can stay alive for when she returns," she replied nonchalantly.

"Are you sure this is wise? What happens if the other clans find out that-"

"Nou mou. Ai laik Heda. They will not question me. I look out for my people," she said in an authoritative tone.

"Apologies Heda, I only meant to look out for you," Indra said as she bowed her head.

Lexa sighed and closed her eyes. She took a deep breath before she spoke, "I know Indra. This would help all of us. I'm doing this to benefit our people. We could become something great. They have knowledge and technology that could help us and we have the knowledge of this land. Together we could do great things," she said looking at both Indra and Echo.

"I agree with you Heda," Echo said.

Indra huffed. "Your only Saint that to get on her good side."

"Indra." Lexa gave her a disapproving look. "Also I will be needing you to come with us."

Indra narrowed her eyes. "Heda I should say here and over look the construction."

Lexa groaned internally. This is not going to be easy. "I need you to take Octavia back as your second." Lexa held her breath Ashe waited for Indra's outburst.

Indra laughed disbelievingly. "That will not happen. I will never take her back. She chose her side."

"You will take her back because of you were in her shoes and it was my brother, your husband, you would have done everything you could have to get him out," she practically growled.

Indra took a step back and dropped her eyes to the floor. "Apologies, Heda. I'll take her back. Although if she does one thing wrong I'm will stop training her," she looked back up as she spoke.

"Mochof, that is all that I ask. Now go and gather everyone that we will need." Indra and Echo bowed their head and were leaving. "Echo stay. I need to discuss something with you." Indra growled but didn't say anything as she left the tent. Echo turned to her with a questioning gaze. "While we are at camp Jaha, I'm going to need you to keep an eye on Bellamy. I want you to get close to him and make sure he doesn't do anything that will destroy what I'm trying to do. At the same time I need you to keep an eye on everyone. See how they are feeling about this."

Echo looked at her unbelieving. "Heda?"

"I will have Indra doing the same thing. But if we get Bellamy and Octavia on our side then soon everyone else will join them. Bellamy is like a leader to hem. They will follow him," she got up, walked over to the refreshments and pored herself a drink. She took a sip before talking, "But Bellamy is the most important. I need him to trust you." She turned to look at Echo. "I also know you have a soft spot for him."

Echo's eyes widen, she stammered as she spoke, "H-how did y-you know about that?"

"I questioned some of the prisoners from the mountain, they said that you help Bellamy escape from his cage. Then he put you in charge of getting everyone out of their cages," Echo grimaced at her words. She sighed. _She blames herself for what happened_. I should have known she would do this. "Echo, it wasn't your fault: What happened at the mountain. You shouldn't blame yourself. You can do this: What I ask of you. I know you can. If you see anything suspicious just come and inform me and I will deal with it."

Echo took a minute to get her bearings together before she spoke. "Sha Heda. I will do it."

The next morning, Lexa sat on top the horse contemplating how everything was going to go once they got there. Maybe if they work together for long stretches of time they will come to see each other as one and not as the enemy. I really hope everything goes according to plan. But most of the time that doesn't happen. She sighed. She was brought out of her thoughts by Indra squirming in her saddle for the umpteenth time. She fought the urge to roll her eyes. "What is it Indra," she asked exasperated.

Indra let out a breath before she spoke, "I have an uneasy feeling." She cut her eyes to Indra. "I just want to be prepared incase anything happens."

 _Jok, she's right. Her feelings are usually spot on._ This means we need to keep on guard. This time she couldn't help herself from sighing. "Your feelings are usually right. What do you supposed we do?"

"We just need to be on high alert," Indra said. She nodded her head in agreement. "I also think that we should have the Chancellor inform the camp that who every tries to act against us will be punished."

"Sha. We will talk to them when we get there and before we have any of our people work together." I just hope that Abby and Kane had spoken to everyone about the arrangement after I left. She looked around and noticed that they were about to come to the clearing before the camp.

The rest of the way to the camp was silent. When they reached the gate they were greeted by Abby, Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Raven and Lincoln. They dismounted and handed the horses over to the guards. They greeted each other then headed to the council room. Once everyone was in they all took a seat at the table. She broke the silence first.

"I wish to discus a few things before I let my people start training yours." She looked around at everyone. "I would like you to inform your people that if they cause any harm to my people there will be consequences." Abby went to speak up but she didn't give her the chance. "My people already know what will happen to them if they cause trouble. I just want to make sure that my people will be safe."

"That is understandable, commander." Kane looked to Abby before continuing to speak. "How about if anyone of our people cause trouble they will be detained in the holding cells?"

Lexa nodded. "That seams fair." She looked to Indra. Indra nodded in agreement. "Once you-" she was interrupted by a knock on the door. Octavia got up and opened the door.

"Sorry for interrupting, but there is a grounder here asking to speak to the commander."

"Bring him in," Abby said annoyed.

The guard stepped aside to let the grounder in. Lexa's heart stopped when she saw the warrior that was supposed to keep Clarke safe. Her mind started run mile a minute. _Did something happen to her? Was she hurt? Did she get killed_? She suddenly stopped breathing. She needed to get out of here. But there was no where to run to. Indra grabbed her hand under the table pulling her from her thoughts and causing her to breath again. She gave Indra's hand a squeeze before she let it go. She stood up. "Is there another room that I could use," she asked Abby.

Abby furrowed her brows before she talked, "Yes right across the hall."

She nodded her head. "Thank you. I will be a moment. Indra, come," she said as she moved toward the door. Indra and the warrior followed her to the room across the hall. She opened the door and stepped inside. The warrior walked in followed by Indra; who closed the door. She turned to face him, her eyes set in a hard glare. "Why are you not protecting Clarke?"

He faulted under her glare. "I... she... she fainted from lack of food; but before I could get to her there was a group of warrior from Ice Nation that surrounded her." She froze, all the blood drained from her. She felt like she had stepped foot into one of her nightmares. "They took her Heda." He went down on his knees and bowed to her. "I'm sorry Heda. I've failed you," he was practically shaking from fear.

"Leave. Now," she managed to get out. Once he left her breathing became erratic. Indra moved to stand in front of her.

"Lexa," Indra said in a soft voice.

She started to shake and couldn't get any air into her lungs. _This is just like Costia all over again. She will be killed and her head will be sent to me. NO! I can't go though that again. I barely survived the first time. I won't be able to again._ Indra shook her.

"Lexa! You have to listen to me." Indra stopped shaking her but didn't let go of her shoulders. "Lexa, you need to breathe. Beja, breathe with me." Indra started taking deep breaths. She tried to focus on breathing with Indra.

"This... is... all... my... fault" she said between gasps. She closed her eyes trying to get her breathing under control, but all she saw was tear laced ocean blue eyes pleading with her. He eyes shot opened. Her breathing becoming more erratic. Fear was taking ahold of her as she remembered that night like it was yesterday. She's probably being tortured for information right now. _Would she hate me enough to give up what she knows about me?_ The thought alone sent a sharp pain straight to her heart. She felt helpless. The last time she felt like this was with Costia. She hated this feeling. She closed her eyes and forced all thoughts of Clarke from her mind as she tried to control her breathing.

"Lexa," Indra said as she tried to get her attention. "This is not your fault," Indra pulled her into a hug. "I don't care how many times I have to say it, but I will keep on repeating it until you believe it to be true." As Indra kept talking she focused on the rise an fall of the warrior's chest and tried to match it and listen to the voice. Her breathing started to even out.

I can't take this... She let her anger get the best of her as she pushed Indra away from her. She started to throw whatever she could get her hands on across the room.

Indra just stared at her in astonishment; she snapped out of her haze when Lexa flipped over the table. She went over to Lexa and grabbed her. Lexa struggled to break free but she tightened her grip. "Lexa you need to stop this. Breaking things and making a mess will not fix anything." When she didn't look at Indra, Indra shook her and turned her head to look her in the eyes. "This will not bring her back. You have to get ahold of your emotions if you want to get her back." This got her attention; she stopped fighting and gave Indra her full attention. Indra let go of her and continued talking, "You need to keep control of your emotions if you want to come up with a plan to get her back." She couldn't say anything so she just nodded in agreement. "I'm going to handle the rest of the meeting, I want you to go to you tent and try to rest. The warriors should have finished setting up the tent by now."

They head screaming, then moments later they head smashing. Everyone in the council room shared a look. Before Abby or Kane could send someone to find out what was happening the smashing stopped. Abby and Kane looked at each other worriedly. Before they knew what was going on Indra walked back into the room. She took her seat as everyone stared at her. She addressed everyone. "Heda had some business to attend to so I will be handling this for now." Everyone shared a look. Echo looked to Indra, who shook her head no. She cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Is there any concerns that you have?"

"No, no thats it," Kane said.

"Good, Heda would appreciate it if you would address the camp now to inform them of what we spoke about. Then we could gather all your people into groups to start the training right away."

Kane and Abby nodded their heads in agreement. "Shall we," Kane said as he motioned for Indra to lead the way. She walked out of the room with Echo hot on her trail.

"What happened to Heda," Echo asked in a hushed voice.

Indra grunted. "Heda will tell you if she sees fit." Indra picked up her pace trying to get rid of Echo. She heard footsteps approach her. It's probably Octavia.

"Indra."

"Octavia."

"Did Heda speak to you?"

Indra rolled her eyes. _Sky people have no patients_. "Sha, she did." She cut her gaze to Octavia. Octavia looked at her expectantly. Indra sighed, "I agreed to take you back." She had to force herself to not smile when Octavia's eyes blazed with renewed fire.

She bowed her head, "Mochof;" she said as she walked away.

But before she got a few steps away, Indra spoke; "Meet me in the clearing to the side of the ship in one and a half candle marks."

Clarke and Nia were walking around the market. Clarke stole a glance at Nia, watching as the she would greet anyone who came up to her. _She is a lot like HER. No! Don't go there. She is nothing like HER_. When Nia was done talking to the villager, Nia caught her staring. They share a smile before Clarke cut her gaze to one of the vender. A beautiful handmade leather book caught her attention. As she was admiring it she didn't realize that Nia paid for it. She looked up and saw Nia staring at her.

"Klark, I paid for the book. It is yours," Nia said with a smile. "Come let us get back home and you can draw." They started to walk home. They were walking so close that their hands would brush against each other. She nearly jumped when Nia's finger held onto one of hers.

When they got home, Nia turned to her and asked; "Would you like to draw in my room?" When Clarke didn't answer her right away, she started rambling. "I mean, I would like to watch you draw; but I also have some papers that I have to look over. I just thought that maybe-"

"I would love to," she said with a smile. Nia smiled back. After she settled on the couch, she watched as Nia sat at a desk and started working on the papers. She smiled to herself. She felt a familiar warmth spread through her. _Wow she looks beautiful._ She shook her head and tried to focus on drawing. She thought about what to draw. After a few seconds she started drawing. She started sketching out her father's face. When she was done shading out the lines in his face, she moved onto his shoulder's down to his chest.

She was so engrossed on the drawing she didn't realized Nia had stop working to watch her. She practically fell off the couch when Nia spoke next to her ear, "Wow Klark, that is beautiful." Nia giggled at her reaction. "I'm sorry Klark, I didn't mean to scare you." She turned to look at Nia.

She pouted when she saw Nia with a smirk on her face. "That wasn't funny," she tried to hold back her smile, but gave in when Nia's smirk turned into a soft smile. "How long have you been standing there," she asked as she scooted over for Nia to sit down.

"For a few minutes," Nia said as she sat down. "You are very beautiful when you are focusing," Nia said with a small smile as she looked into her eyes.

She lost herself in Nia's eyes. She doesn't know who leaned in or who closed the distanced, but when Nia's lips met her's every thought ceased. She closed her eyes and move her lips against Nia's. It soft almost hesitant, but when she brought her hand up to cup Nia's cheek, this spurred Nia on. The kiss grew a tad bit heated yet still soft. They moved closer to one another as they kissed; they broke apart only when the need for oxygen became too much. They pulled back panting. Nia rested her head against her and whispered, "I've been wanting to do that for the longest." She smiled and reveled in the moment they shared.

 **Should I run now?**


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

 **This chapter is for me to say sorry about my irregular updating. I'm am going to set a day when I will have future chapters posted. This day will Sunday. I hope you all enjoyed last chapter. There will be a few more chapters before the Clexa reunion as well as what really happened at the mountain. I'm going for two or three chapters before this happens. Hope you all enjoy this chapter. Please feel free to review to let let know what you thought of the chapter or what/who you would like to see more of.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

"You fought well today Octavia," Indra smirked as she spoke. "Considering it has been a while since you last trained."

Octavia rolled her right shoulder to loosen it up. She winced as she put pressure on her shoulder blade: Not used to fighting with a sword. _Maybe I should have had Lincoln also work with me on sword fighting as well as hand-to-hand combat._ "Thanks," she said with a smile. "Lincoln has been training me," she beamed. "All though it was only hand-to-hand combat," she said under her breath.

"It is good to see that you didn't stop training," Indra said with pride. "You should see Abby about your shoulder," Indra said as she saw her wince again at the pain.

"No, no. It's fine. I just need to lay off of it for a while. It will be good by tomorrow."

Indra nodded. "Just remember, we meet here at sun rise. If you are late you will not be trained, and as punishment for your incompetence, you will care for the horses and polish my amor and weapons."

"Sha, I understand. That will not happen." With that she walked away towards the Ark. She walked to engineering in search of Raven. As she walked down the hall towards engineering she heard an explosion and saw smoke. "Raven," she screamed. She ran down the hall and into the room. She saw Raven on the floor coughing and ran over to her. "Oh my god, Raven are you okay?!" Raven sat up as she cleared the soot off her face.

"Shit," Raven huffed out. "There goes my invention," she sighed as she got up. "Hey O. What're you doing here?"

She looked over Raven to make sure she wasn't injured, only when she was sure that Raven was fine did she speak, "I just got done from training and I thought that maybe we could spend sometime together before Indra kills me with all the training," she said smiling.

Raven laughed. "I can only imagine how that must be. But speaking of training, can you come with me to see the Commander?" Octavia looked at her for a moment.

"I'm shock that you actually want to be around her after... You know."

"I'm still a little angry and hurt but not like I used to," Raven said nonchalantly. Octavia looked at her like she had two head. "Just… will you come with me or not?"

"Yeah, I'll come with you." Raven got up with her help, dusted herself off and headed out the door. They walked to where the grounder set up camp and went to her tent. Two grounders stood watch.

"We would like to speak with the Commander," Raven said as she straightened up. The guards shared a look before one disappeared into the tent. After a moment he came back out and gestured for them to go in. The first thing that greeted them was the smell of alcohol. They looked at each other that asked 'what is going on.' They walked up to stand in front of the thrown.

"Heda," Octavia said as she bowed her head.

Raven mimicked Octavia, "Commander."

"Octavia, Raven," she greeted them. Her eyes were glassy and where the only give-a-way that she was drunk. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Her stoic demeanor never wavering.

Raven stifled a laugh, Octavia elbowed her in the ribs and gave her a warning glare. She grunted as she rubbed her side. Lexa raised her eye brow with an unimpressed expression. She cleared her throat, " I was going to ask you if we could start my training... But we could-"

Lexa got up from her thrown and gracefully made her way to stand in front of her. "Come, I will start you off with the basics."

As Lexa walked back to her tent she thought about the training she could do with Raven. She noticed that Raven was having trouble with the stance due to the pain from her leg. _Maybe there is some other way to make this less painful for her._ She got two steps into her tent before someone came bursting into it. She turned around just in time to see a furious looking Indra.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD DRINK AGAIN," Indra screamed. She averted her gaze to anywhere but directly at Indra. "YOU PROMISED ME YOU WOULDN'T DRINK AGAIN!" Lexa tried to keep a straight face but she failed. All the emotions she had been trying to ignore came rushing at her. Indra took notice in the change, put her hand on Lexa's shoulder and took a deep breath. "Lexa you promised me that you would talk to me if you ever felt like resorting to drinking again." Indra sighed when Lexa still wouldn't look at her. "Lexa look at me. Beja, look at me." Lexa shifted her gaze back to the warrior. "Come, let us start making a plan to rescue Clarke."

Lexa nodded. "But first I think we should find Echo and fill her in on what is going on." Indra scoffed. She raised her eye brow in question, "she knows Azgeda lands better than anyone. In order for our plan to work, it will require her knowledge." Indra grunted and followed her out of the tent.

"We should check the training grounds," Indra huffed out. "The last I saw, she was showing the sky boy how to fight."

She nodded. _This should be interesting. This is not what I had in mind when I told her to keep an eye on him. But I guess it is better than nothing._ She chanced a glance at Indra as they walked. There was not one time that the warrior didn't have her best interest at heart; even when they had problems. Indra was always there for her. _I know I needed the drink, but maybe I shouldn't have drunk it._

She was so lost in her thoughts, she didn't realize they made it to the training grounds until Indra spoke. "I see them." Lexa walked over to them and watched them spare. Bellamy wasn't exactly bad nor good. He could hold his own. He blocked a punch directed at his right eye, but failed to block the one aimed at his stomach. He bent over grabbing his stomach, Echo took this moment to flip him into the floor. She grinned down to him.

"Not bad Sky boy. Maybe with some training you could do well."

He smirked. "Are you offering to train me," he asked with a hint of amusement. She held out her hand, he took it and allowed her to help him up. When he saw who stood behind Echo his smile fell. Echo turned around.

Without sparing Bellamy a glance she said, "I'll come find you in a bit." She walked over to Lexa and Indra.

Lexa didn't give her a chance to greet her before she started talking, "Come, we have some things we need to discuss." Echo nodded her head and followed Lexa and Indra.

Echo looked around making sure no one was in hearing range before she dared speak. "These things we need to discuss; would they happen to be about the reason that warrior spoke to you earlier?"

Indra went to make a snarky comment but kept quite with one look from Lexa. "Sha. I don't really want to talk about it in the open. Although it has to do with Klark."

"What has to do with my daughter," Abby's voice came from directly behind them.

 _Jok. I didn't want her to know until we hand a plan._ Lexa kept her stoic demeanor. "I have news of Klark. If you follow us to my tent we will tell you." To her surprise Abby didn't put up a fight. She just nodded and followed them. Indra gave her an are you out of your mind look. She gave a warning glare back before walking into her tent.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

 **As I promised: here is the update. I hope you enjoy :) Please feel free to leave a review of your thoughts or comments.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Clarke stared at the empty canvas as she tried to think of something to paint. For the last twenty minutes - her thoughts have been plagued with Nia and the kiss.

 _"I've been wanting to do that for the longest."_

She smiled as she thought back on the moment. Her smiled turned to a frown when she remembered the last two days. _I haven't seen her. Every time I go to her she tells me she has somewhere to be; then runs off. Is she avoiding me?_ She got a sinking feeling in her stomach. _Could she really be avoiding me?_ She shook her head as she tried to dispel the feeling. She gave the canvas another long look before she sighed and gave up. _Maybe the only way to find out what is really going on is to talk to her._

 _I wonder what Clarke is doing._ The thought caused a warm feeling to settle in her heart. She closed her eyes as she thought about the kiss. She smiled at the thought of Clarke's soft pink lips on her's. Desire stirred in her traveling south. She was ripped from her thoughts by a knock on her door. Then a warrior stepped in.

"Apologies, ai haiplana. Allie requests a word," the warrior spoke with his head bowed.

She mentally rolled her eyes as she struggled to hold her sigh. "Min yu op."

"Sha," he turned on his heals and closed the door behind him. A moment later Allie appeared: her face impassive as she walked over to the desk and took a seat without a word from her.

She felt her annoyance flair. She took a calming breath before she spoke. "What can I do for you, Allie?" The woman tilted her head to the side and studied her before she spoke.

"You have not been doing your job," Allie stated in a flat voice.

She couldn't hold in the sigh. "We spoke of this already. I told you that Clarke is the only one that can get close to Lexa," she says exasperated.

Allie studied her once more. "You care for the girl," she stated. Nia growled. "Either you get the girl to kill Lexa or kill the girl. If Lexa isn't dead soon, the girl will be," she said impassively.

Nia shot out of her seat. "IF YOU TOUCH CLARKE I WILL FIND A WAY TO DESTROY YOU!"

"Do what I asked and the girl will be safe," the woman in red stated before she disappeared: leaving Nia furious. She sat down and tried to control her breathing. Another knock on the door had her temper flaring.

"Chit!"

Clarke walked through the door. "Sorry, I'll just..." She went to leave. Before the girl could open the door she stopped her. Clarke froze but didn't turn around.

"Klark - look at me, beja," she pleaded; all of her anger faded away. Clarke slowly turned around. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to take my anger out on you. I thought you were one of my warriors. It won't happen again-" she was silenced by a hand on her arm.

"It's okay Nia," Clarke smiled as she reassure her. She sighed in relief and smiled back.

"What brings you here, Klark," she asked as she walked back to her chair. She heard Clarke shuffle as she sat in the chair across from her. She furrowed her brows as she watched Clarke struggle to find her words. "Is someone bothering you," she asked worriedly.

"No... No. Thats not it. I... I was..." She sighed before speaking again. "Are you avoiding me?" She watched as Clarke tried to keep a straight face and failed. Her stomach turned as she saw hurt written on the blonde's face.

"Klark... I..." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "In a way I was. But, Klark, I really did have things I had to do. I have been distracted lately and it has been affecting my work. I-" her sentence died as she saw the hurt and understanding. _This girl will be the death of me._ She got up from her chair, walked around to the blonde and bent to eye level. "I'm sorry Klark. It was unfair of me to kiss you then, as you put it, avoid you. I..." She swallowed, "I care about you."

"I care about you." She inhaled sharply. A mixture of emotions went through her: lust, warmth, but also sadness and guilt. So much guilt. _Lexa..._ Try as she might, but she could never get those forest green eyes off her mind. No matter who she was with or what she was doing; her thoughts centered around one thing: Lexa. She blinked as she so desperately tried to form a response. She knew she felt something for Nia, but she loved Lexa, still loved Lexa. No matter how angry she was. She understood why the young leader did what she did, but it still hurt. Now after everything, here she is; with the person who despised the woman she loved. She doesn't give herself anymore time to think: she pulled Nia in for a kiss. It took a moment for the older woman to respond, she then felt hesitant hands snake around her waist. Before the kiss can deepen she pulled back and rested her head against the girl's. She felt more than she saw Nia smile. Yup, she felt real guilty.

"I have to tell you something," Nia said as she pulled away. She saw the conflict within the girl's eyes. She nodded her head in encouragement, urging the woman to continue. She watched as the woman took a deep breath before continuing. "I have a plan to kill Lexa..." Her breath hitched and her heart sped up. Out of all the things that she expected Nia to say, she never expected this. Once again her emotions were swirling around. How was she supposed to feel about this? Happy that the one person that hurt her more deeply than she could have imagined will be killed, or worried that the one person that she loved unconditionally will be killed. She knew she should be happy, but she can't bring herself to be. Granted, Lexa did betray her: yes, at one point she did want her dead. But, after she had time to really think about the choice Lexa made and all the training sessions she let her anger out in, she has realized - she doesn't want the woman dead. That would hurt her more than anything in the world. She may still be furious, but she doesn't want anything to happen to the woman she loved. So she made a decision.

"You have a plan to kill Lexa," she asked.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

 **Sorry for this chapter being late. As an apology, I will be posting another chapter with in the next two days. I hope that you will except it :) Hope you enjoy!**

As they walked back to Lexa's tent, she could tell Abby was getting restless. She chanced a side glance and saw the signs. Abby was worried: her jaw was clenched, her hands were balled into fists and her back was rigid. She couldn't blame the woman; she was just as worried, if not more. She couldn't help the guilt that crept up. She couldn't help the feeling that this was all her fault. Had she not taken the deal Clarke would still be here; but then her people would have been killed. Then again, she could have went back while her people left. Yet, if she would have went back then the Maunon would have retaliated. _No, I can't think about what ifs. I made my choice. And now Clarke has suffered the consequences_. She sighed internally. _And now I will do everything in my power to get her back. I will do everything I can to ameliorate._ She walked into her tent, flaked by Abby, Indra and Echo.

Once everyone was inside, she turned to speak, but was cut off by Abby. "What do you know about my daughter," she said; her voice hard.

She couldn't hold the sigh back as she looked at the older woman. She walked to her thrown and sat as she spoke, "She was captured by Azgeda."

A look of pure confusion crept upon Abby's face as she asked, "Azgeda?"

"Ice Nation," Indra said.

"Ice Nation? I-I-I don't u-understand. What does this mean," she asked panic evident in her voice.

"The Ice Nation is one of the most brutal out of all the clans. Their Queen is the essence of cruelty," Lexa said as she looked upon Abby. Her eyes a shade darker, shoulders tensed, hands griped the arms of the thrown as she spoke, "Queen Nia is not someone you want as an enemy. When she wants something, she will do whatever it takes to get it." She watched as a shiver went down Abby's spine.

Her voice shook as she spoke. "How do you know Clarke is with this Queen?" Lexa was surprised how Abby was clearly distressed but kept together. The only sign was her voice.

Indra rolled her eyes. "Let us be clear Abby. Everything I say to you never leaves this tent," she ascent from her thrown as she spoke. She walked and stood in front of Abby. "Do I make myself clear," her eye brow pulled up in question. Abby nodded. "Good." She walked to the table, pored herself water and drank. "After I left the mountain, I had one of my people stay behind to see if you would defeat the mountain. He came back with word of your conquest. I, then, had someone shadow Clarke after she left you. He was the one that interrupted our meeting earlier." She watched as her words sunk in.

Abby's eyes hardened. "Why would you have my daughter followed. How do I know that this wasn't your plan all along," she growled.

Indra instantaneously stood in front of Abby. Her voice deadly low. "Don't you dare blame this on the commander."

"Indra," Lexa said as she put her hand on the warrior's shoulder. "En's ogud." Indra moved to Echo's side, a scowl firmly in place. She turned to face Abby. "I understand you are worried about Clarke," she said, voice low. "But if you ever. Ever. Disrespect me again. You will be punished." Abby gulped, she nodded in understanding. "The reason my warrior was shadowing Clarke is none of your concern. All you need to know is I know the location of your daughter and devising a plan to get her back."

"I have a right to be involved in this," Abby said with renewed strength.

"Agreed, is there anyone else that you would like to know about this? Before you answer, be mindful that only a handful can know about this. I do not wish for this information to spread." She watched as Abby frowned as she thought.

After a moment she said, "I think Kane, Bellamy, Octavia, Lincoln and Raven should be present." As an after thought: "We might need them."

She nodded. "Echo, go and get them. Make sure not to tell them anything. If they ask, tell them I called for them." Echo bowed her head as she left the tent. Indra walked over to her.

In a hushed voice she asked, "do you think it is wise to have them know? It could cause more trouble than it's worth."

"As much as I hate to say this, but your right. I don't like that all these people are going to know. But, we don't really have a choice. If we don't let them help they would be more troublesome," she stated.

"Commander." She turned toward the voice.

"Kane," she greeted.

"You sent for us," Bellamy said.

"Yes the Chancellor thought it would be wise for you to be included in the information I have," she said as she walked back to her thrown and sat down. "As I told the Chancellor, I will tell you: everything that is said here will not leave this tent. You will not like the consequences. Do you understand." They nodded their head.

"What exactly is this about," Bellamy asked.

"I know the location of Clarke. She is in danger. Indra, Echo and I were in the process of devising a plan when the Chancellor thought it be best to inform you." She looked around to make sure that everyone was listening. She did not want to repeat herself. _The longer we waist on planning the longer it will take to get to Clarke._ She sighed internally. "I believe that the best plan is to have Echo escort me into Azgeda. From there, I will remain hidden until we find where Clarke is and get her out." All hell broke loose when she was done. She watched as everyone started screaming. Indra screaming at Echo; Bellamy trying to defend her. She grew tired of the madness. "Em Pleni!" Everyone grew silent. Indra turned to her.

"Heda, I do not think you should be the one to go. If Queen Nia finds out you are their she could kill you for trespassing on her lands," Indra pleaded.

"Indra, I have to go, Echo will make sure that I will be hidden." She turned to Echo. "You wanted a chance to prove your loyalty. Here it is."

"Lexa please," Indra practically begged.

"I will be fine Indra. I should be back within a week. It depends on how long it takes us to get to Clarke." Indra deflated.

"I should go too," Bellamy stated.

She looked to him and shook her head. "No, not only would you be in danger but you would slow us down."

"How do we know that you will bring her home safely," he protested.

"I could give them a radio." Everyone turned to Raven. She silently thanked Raven. "I could show you how to work it and you could contact us in case anything happens."

"Mochof Raven. Do you have one already," she asked.

"Yes, you and Echo can follow me to engineering. I could show you how to work it: you could test it out and get comfortable with it before you leave."

"No one but Echo and I will be going. We will keep in contact when we have news. Any objections to this?" No one said anything. "Good. Just remember. In order for this to work, this has to stay between us." They all nodded in agreement. "Raven, could you teach us now. The sooner we leave, the faster I can bring Clarke home."

"Yeah, follow me," Raven said. Rave, Echo and her left the tent before anyone could speak out against anything.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

 **As I promised, here is your apology chapter. I hope you enjoy :)**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

As they headed to Azgeda lands, Lexa could not get her mind off the blonde. _She better be okay. I don't think I would be able to forgive myself if Nia had harmed her._ Her hands tighted around the horse's reins; knuckles turned white and jaw clenched.

"Heda?"

"Sha Echo," she asked through gritted teeth.

"Clarke will be okay," Echo said sincerely. Lexa closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"Sha." _She has to be okay. I can't loose her too. There will be no coming back from that. I need her._ She opened her eyes and tried to dispell the uneasy feeling she had. "How much further do we have,"she tried to keep the eagerness from showing but failed.

"Not that long: about three candle marks before we get to the heart of Azgeda. I have a feeling that is where she would be: with the Queen." Lexa nodded. "Heda?"

"Sha," she asked calmly.

"Why does Queen Nia hate you so much," Echo asked as she turned to look at Lexa; curiosity in her eyes.

"Because I killed her brother," she said evenly. For a slpit second, Echo allowed her shock to show before she became stoic. "Let us talk about something more important. Do you know what Clarke looks like?"

"No, I do not."

"You will be able to distinguish her from the rest. She had golden blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes," she said with a hint of a smile that vanished within a second.

"I can see why you would be fascinated with her. Those qualities are very rare for our people," Echo said with a ghost of a smile. Lexa sent her a death glare, and the smile quickly vanished.

"Where did you hear that from," she growled, her eyes hard.

Echo flinched slightly. She cleared her throat before she spoke, "I heard some of the warriors talking about a blonde that stayed in your tent for a few nights before the attack on the mountain."

Lexa retained her eyes ahead of them. She clenched and unclenched her jaw as she thought about the repercussions of this. _Could this be the reason why Nia wanted Clarke. Did she have her warriors spy on her and Clarke._ As her mind ran a mile a minute her breathinng increased, getting shallower with each breath. She felt her heartrate pick up: the first signs of a panic attack. She closed her eyes and tried to focus on anything to prevent the attack from getting worse. The last thing she needed was to show her weakness to someone who she didn't fully trust. Breaking down in front of Indra is okay. But in front of Echo; no, she couldn't risk it. She felt her heartrate decrease as she focused on the feeling of the horse: each movement of her hips paired with it's back. The sound of the leaves crunching under it's hooves with each step.

"Heda, we are about to come across the first village," Echo said oblivious to the turmoil going on within Lexa. "We should start going over the plan again and find some clothes for you." Lexa nodded her head, still unable to speak.

* * *

 **I know this chapter is very short. But I did promise you a capter and here it is. I cut this chapter off here beacuse I didn't want to cut scenes that follow in half. I already have half of next chapter written. I'm not going to spoil anything, but I think you guys are going to be happy with how the next chapter ends :) Again, sorry for the short chapter. This really is just a fill in for next chapter. Something to get you excited for what is to come.**


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

 **Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I had most of this written before I wrote the first chapter. I've been waiting patiently, and now its finally here :) I'm excited to have this update! Happy Mother's day!**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

Clarke liked to go to the market in the morning after one of her nightmares and watch everyone prepare for the day. It always cleared her head. But for some reason it just wasn't working. Everywhere she looked she saw green. She walked aimlessly through the booths as she desperately tried to get _her_ off her mind. The worst part was all the feelings that she tried to bury seemed to bubble to the surface and stay there no matter how hard she tried to push them down. _I need to stop thinking about her! Why is it so hard to keep her off my mind!?_ She was so focused on her thoughts she didn't see someone in front of her as she walked right into them.

She looked up surprised. "I am so sorry. I wasn't paying attention," she said.

The girl smiled. "It's okay," the girl said as she took in Clarke's features. "You wouldn't happen to be Clarke of the Sky People?" Clarke nodded in affirmation. The girl looked around before she turned her attention back to Clarke. "My name is Echo. I was sent here looking for you by Bellamy," Echo said in a rush whisper. "I really need to talk to you. It's really important," Echo said pleadingly.

Clarke took Echo's features in as she tried to gather her thoughts. _She knows Bellamy? But she's a grounder. Wait! Bellamy was talking about a grounder that helped him in the mountain. He sent her here? Is he okay? Is mom okay? Are my friends okay?_ She shook her head to clear her thoughts away. "Yeah sure, just give me a minute," she said before she turned to her guards. "Guys, can you give us a little while. I will meet you back at home," she said with a smile.

"We can't do that. We have orders from Queen Nia to always be with you," a tall bearded man stated.

She rolled her eyes. "Look guys, you have seen me train. I can handle myself for a few hours. I just want to catch up with a friend and be back shortly," she tried. When they still wouldn't leave she tried a different approach. "If it makes you feel better: we could tell Queen Nia that you were with me the whole time and while I'm gone you guys can wait here. I will come and meet you here in three candle marks. Deal?" The bearded man begrudgingly nodded before he turned and left. "That was a little too easy. We should hurry up and go someplace before they follow us," she huffed.

Echo nodded. "Follow me," she said. They walked for a few minutes keeping on guard: making sure they weren't followed. They walked into a large hut. As soon as Clarke stepped inside, Echo closed the door and quickly went around to close all the windows.

She grew more worried the longer Echo didn't speak. She couldn't take it anymore. "Echo, please. Tell me what is going on," she tried not to show how frightened she was.

Echo looked at her as the brunette tried to find the words that would make Clarke listen to her. "Clarke, what I have to tell you is very important. And I need you to listen to me," Echo looked into Clarke's sapphire blue eyes with a stern look. "There is more to the story then you have been led to believe about the mountain."

Clarke looked at her like she grew five heads. _What is she talking about. More to the story. She has got to be kidding me! Lexa betrayed me! She left me at the mountain to die after taking a deal! There was nothing more to it than that!_ She shook her head, unable to believe what she heard. _I'm not staying and listening to this bullshit!_ She turned on her heel to walk out the door. But rounded on Echo instead letting her anger control her. "What do you mean there is more to the story," Clarke screamed. Echo flinched: not expecting that much venom to come from the blonde. She knew the blonde would be angry and hurt; but she didn't realized how much until this moment. Echo thought about the right words that would make the blonde see reason.

"Lexa—"

"How dar you bring HER up. She's the reason that I did what I did," Clarke screamed seething with rage. _How dare Echo bring HER up!_ She was angry but she was more hurt than anything.

"Clarke you have to lis—"

"No, Echo. She's the reason for everyone that I had to kill since I've gotten to the ground," she said sounding defeated with a hint of anger.

"It was Bellamy and my fault for what you had to do at the mountain Clarke. Not Lexa's," Echo said with a strained voice as Clarke looked at her in confusion.

"What do you mean it is yours and Bellamy's fault for the mountain?"

Echo sighed. "Bellamy was in the process of getting all of us out of the cages when we heard Cage's announcement. Your friends were in danger so he gave me the keys and left to go help them. It was a short time after that the maunon stormed the room with guns. We couldn't do anything but what they said," Echo paused as she took a deep breath. "There weren't enough of us free to fight and the ones that were got held at gunpoint. After they got us out of the cages, we were led to the front door. We were forced to kneel in front of the door all the while being at gunpoint," she stopped to look at the blonde as she tried to decipher her emotions.

Clarke started at her wide eyed as she put it together. _Lexa had no choice but to take the deal. If she didn't take the deal then all the grounders would have been killed— the people that she went there to save would have been killed._ The realization hit like a ton of bricks. So many emotions swirled around. Pain, anger, relief… She couldn't get a hold of her self. Then she head it. The voice that she spent so long trying to forget. Right behind her.

"Hello, Klark."

She didn't think twice before she pulled out her hidden dagger, turned around and held it to their throat as she grabbed their arm. Stormy sapphire blue met forest green.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

 **Hey guys. Hope you enjoy this.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

 _What is she doing here!? Why would she come here!? Is she trying to get herself killed!_ Clarke looked into Lexa's forest green eyes. She saw the pain, longing, and regret. Seeing all those emotions struck a cord. Being able to see Lexa, having her so close cause so many emotions to run through her on top of what she was already feeling. It was all too much for her.

"Clarke, what are you doing," Echo said sounding panicked. She started to move closer.

"No, Echo. Stay where you are," Lexa stated in a calm voice.

"But, Heda. She-"

"Echo, leave us," Lexa said. Her eyes never left Clarke's.

"But-"

"Do I have to repeat myself," Lexa snaped.

"No, Heda," Echo sighed. She left the room while mumbling something about being killed by Indra.

Once Echo left them, Lexa dropped her mask: showing all her emotions. _I can't kill her!_ Her pain at the front of everything, but, right behind that is the love that she feels for the young woman standing in front of her. And that, the fact that even after the woman betrayed her, she still loved the woman. She hated herself for it. But, now, with the information that was just given to her: she couldn't be mad at her. _Lexa was forced to leave me._ As she looked into those forest green eyes that she came to love and saw all the emotion that the woman was holding onto, she felt tears brim at the edges of her eyes.

"I'm sorry, Klark." Her voice just barely above a whisper.

Nia's words echoed in her mind.

* * *

 _"I have a plan to kill Lexa," Nia stated. Nothing betrayed her emotions but the glint in her eyes. The glint that showed how excited the older woman was. How she longed for this. Clarke just stared at her._

 _Clarke just stared at her. Her mind ran a mile a minute. 'A plan to kill Lexa! And it involved her?' How was she supposed to feel about this? Could she actually do it? 'No, I couldn't.' The realization hit her hard. 'No, I really couldn't kill her. No matter what she has done. I love her too much to kill her. But knowing Nia, I couldn't just say no. Plus, if Nia told me her plan, then maybe I could try to prevent it.' "How do I fit into your plan? I don't have enough training to take Lexa in a fight," she said trying to get the information out._

 _"You wouldn't have to fight her Klark," the amusement laced in her voice threaten to send a shiver down her spine. Clarke tilted her head in question. "You are the only one that can get close enough to her."_

 _"I still don't see how that will help me? She would see the attack coming from a mile away."_

 _Nia raised her eyebrow. "Even if she, as you put it would see the attack coming from a mile away, she wouldn't kill you."_

 _If this were under normal circumstances, she would have been amused at the way Nia tried to talk, like her, but this was important. She couldn't let her fondness of Nia overcome her. "And why wouldn't she kill me?" 'Does Nia know what happened between us?'_

 _"Because she cares for you Klark. She trusts that you wouldn't really hurt her. Therefore, even if you did try something she wouldn't try to make a move until the last moment. And, even then, she would just try to disarm you," Nia stated matter-of-factly._

 _"So you just want me to, what? Go up to her and kill her?" She couldn't get over her bafflement. 'How does Nia even know Lexa cares for her?' "How do you know Lexa cares for me?" She spoke her thoughts without realizing it._ _Nia seemed to be taken aback: which sent warning bells off in her head. 'What is she hiding? Was this her plan all along? To get to know me, then have me become her assassin?'_

 _Nia recovered within a second. "I had given Lexa some of my warriors, they had seen some things and informed me of them," she said nonchalantly. But Clarke could see right through her. "And, no, I don't want you to just walk up to Lexa and Kill her. I want you to go back to her and get her to think that she can earn your trust back," Nia said with a sadistic grin._

* * *

 _"_ I never meant to turn you into this," Lexa's voice barely trembled, but Clarke noticed. She choked back a sob as she pushed Lexa away from her and dropped her knife. Clarke closed her eyes as she tried to stop the flood of tears. She gave up once the first tear broke through. She fell to the floor as sobs racked her body. All she wanted in that moment was for Lexa to hold her. She lifted her hand and Lexa was there in a flash. She pulled the other girl down and buried her face in her chest as Lexa held her. "I'm so sorry," Lexa whispered. Hearing that only made her cry harder. All this time she had been consumed with anger for what she had done and she directed it toward Lexa. When she was really angry at herself for what she had done. But that doesn't mean she still isn't hurting. She has been slowly letting go of her anger with every training session, which, now left the pain.

She continued to cling onto Lexa long after the sobbing stopped. "Is what Echo said the truth about the mountain," she asked when she found her voice. She felt Lexa stiffen before answering.

"If you mean me having no choice but to take the deal then yes," Lexa sighed. "What she didn't tell you was that we were covered on both sides by shooters when we were trying to open the door. Had I not taken the deal then you and many others would have been shot on the spot. That is not including my people that were still trapped in the mountain," she felt Lexa begin to shake and her breathing becoming erratic. She felt more than saw Lexa slowly calm herself by matching her breathing with her's. To help Lexa she started to exaggerate her breaths. Once Lexa's breaths went back to normal she continued. "I did the only thing I could that would save as many lives as I could: I took the deal. It wasn't much, but at least I knew that you were safe. Even if it was for a short amount of time." She nodded her head against Lexa's chest.

"Look: I'm not saying that I forgive you-I understand why you did it and you had no choice. But, I'm still hurt. I need time to heal." She pulled away from Lexa to look into her eyes. Lexa nodded in response. "I should be getting back to Nia."

Lexa looked alarmed. "What do you mean, get back to Nia," she practically yelled. "I thought you were coming back with us?" She started to become frantic.

She stopped moving and reached over to grab Lexa. "Hey, listen: I am coming back with you. But, I have to say goodbye. I can't just leave without a warning." When she saw that Lexa still seemed a little panicked, she tried to reassure her. "Look, nothing is going to happen to me. Nia wouldn't hurt me." She watched as the brunette digested what she said: Lexa's faced darkened.

"You care about her." It wasn't a question, so much as a statement.

"Yes, I do. She was there for me when I needed someone. Look: I don't really have time to discuss this right now. I will be back. And when I do, I have something that you need to know." She got up and strode out of the home. She stopped just outside the door to try to gain control of her emotions. They have a long road ahead of them, but eventually: she will be able to trust the brunette again. But, for right now she is still very hurt.


	16. Author's Note

Hey guys, sorry for any of you who thought this was an update. But, I just wanted to let you guys know that I will not be posting a chapter today. I have two finals that I am trying to study for. Instead, I will be posting a chapter on Friday and anther one on Saturday. So you will get two chapters this week for me not updating today. Again, I'm sorry for any one who thought this was an update.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 16

 **Hey guys, here is the chapter that I promised you. And I will be posting two more chapters within the next two days. Hope you enjoy :)**

As Clarke walked back to the market she couldn't help but think about her encounter with the Commander. It was bizarre to witness her almost have a panic attack. The Commander is usually so put together, but this; this was beyond strange. _I had just assumed that she had been playing with my emotions the entire time. But now I see that I am wrong._ The closer she got to the meeting area, the more nervous she grew. _What am I going to tell Nia? How will she react to me going back home?_ She tried to push down her worry but no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't stop. She wasn't paying attention to where she was going and knocked right into her guard. The man did nothing but grunt at her as she tried to catch her balance.

"We should head back, the Queen will be wondering where we are," he huffed. She nodded her head in response as she started walking. Her mind didn't stop racing. Was she ready to go home? That was the main question swimming around. Could she go home and face everyone? How would they react to her presence? As each question blew past her, her anxiety grew. She knew she didn't want to go back to her people yet. But what other option was there? A bell went off in her head as she remembered the Commander's question to her before it all went to shit.

She nodded her head in response as she started walking. Her mind didn't stop racing. Was she ready to go home? That was the main question swimming around. Could she go home and face everyone? How would they react to her presence? As each question blew past her, her anxiety grew. She knew she didn't want to go back to her people yet. But what other option was there? A bell went off in her head as she remembered the Commander's question to her before it all went to shit. _Maybe I could convince her to take to me Polis instead!_ With that problem solved, she only had to figure out what she was going to tell Nia about her departure. _I could just tell her that a friend came to get me. That might work._ She had not realized that she made it back to Nia's room until she almost walked right into the door. _Damn it, I really have to learn to pay attention to where I am walking._ She took a calming breath before she walked into the room.

She was greeted with the sight of Nia changing. "Oh, shit, sorry," she quickly turned around as her face turned tomato red. She heard a small chuckle followed by shuffling.

"That is quite alright," Nia whispered in her ear. She shivered as Nia's breaths ghost her ear. She mentally shook herself to tell Nia. "Did you have a nice trip down to the market,' Nia said as she moved to the couch and sat. Clarke turned around and prepared herself for the inevitable.

"Yeah I did, actually," she said. She took a deep breath and tried to steady her racing heart. "I have something to tell you," she walked over to the couch and sat next to the older woman. "One of my friends came looking for me to bring me back," she paused and tried to read Nia; but she found nothing but curiosity. "I'm sorry Nia but I have to go back with them," she hoped she looked calm; she hoped that Nia wouldn't see through her lie.

To her astonishment, a huge grin broke out on Nia's face. "That is wonderful news Klark! I have been keeping a watchful on the Commander, and one of my sources tells me that the Commander has been spending quite some time at with your people." She gave Nia a confused look, not understanding why her departure is a good thing. "You have enough training to defend yourself if the need arises, which is all you need for our plan to succeed," the wicked grin that grew on the older woman's face cause uneasiness to form in the pit of her stomach. "You could finally take out the Commander!" She did her best not to let any emotions show on her face as her heart dropped.

 **Sorry for the short chapter today guys. I promise tomorrow's chapter will be longer.**


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 17

 **Here is the second chapter that I promised. And I will be posting another chapter tomorrow at my usual time. Hope you enjoy :)**

Clarke sat behind Echo on the horse as they made their way to Polis. After Clarke and forced Lexa to take her to Polis instead of Camp Jaha, Lexa radioed back home to inform them of getting Clarke safely out of Azgeda. Clarke felt completely drained of all energy after the argument she had with Abby; she tried her best not to lean on Echo and fall asleep. She could not stop her mind from racing. She thought about her conversation with Nia before she left. A huge part of her felt guilty for the goodbye kiss she shared with Nia. A part of her felt as if she was just using Nia to feel better about herself. _That's all it could be. I know that I'm grateful for everything she had done for me. And I know I'm attracted to her. But, that is as far as it goes._ Nia had always been easy on the eyes. Clarke especially loved to watch the older woman while they used to train together. Nia reminded her so much of Lexa. _Lexa..._ Lexa was a different story for Clarke. She understood that what Lexa had done was out of her the woman's control, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. After she heard the reason behind the betrayal and she really thought about it, her anger towards the brunette had vanished, but pain took its place. Thinking about her pain made her travel back to when they were getting ready to leave. She thought about the hurt look Lexa gave her when she said that she wanted to ride with Echo.

She stole a glance at the brunette. Lexa looked regal on her horse. The brunette looked even more beautiful than she remembered. It was hard to take her eyes off of Lexa. Having her right there was a major distraction. _One day my pain will subside, then we can go from there._ She forced herself to look away as she turned her gaze up to the sky. The sun was midway through the sky, indicating the time to be about noon. She turned back to Lexa. "Can we take a break?"

Lexa tore her gaze from the dirt road to look at her. Her mask is up, but as always her eyes tell everything. Clarke gazed into them and saw the longing and pain. Lexa didn't say anything, just nodded her head. As soon as Echo stopped the horse, Clarke got off and headed into the forest. She heard someone follow her. She knew who it was before they revealed themselves. She chanced a side glance at the Commander. _It's not or never._ She looked back to check their distance. Once she thought it safe she spoke, "I have information you want to hear." She looked over to Lexa and curious eyes on her. "Before I get into that we need to talk," she looked into piercing forest green eyes. "I may not be angry at you, but I'm still hurt," she didn't look away as she spoke and saw nothing but understand and hope shine in those eyes that she grew fond of. "I need time- ugh" she grunted at she hit the floor. Everything faded to black at the impact. She blinked a few times and her vision slowly came back. She was greeted with a person holding a knife to her.

Everything faded to black at the impact. She blinked a few times and her vision slowly came back. She was greeted with a person holding a gun pointed at her. She looked over to see three people on Lexa, all holding knives to her.

 **Sorry to leave you guys hanging with this. But in a few hours you will have another update :)**


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 18

 **A/N: I am so very sorry that I disappeared on you guys. I was going through some issues with my family and fiancè. I promise not to disappear on you guys again. I'm going to go back to my posting on sundays. Again, I'm so sorry for that. I know this chapter is super short. It's only one scene. Hope you still enjoy it.**

Panic coursed through Clarke's body. There was no way to get out of this without killing

people. And that was the last thing that Clarke wanted. She desperately tried to figure out a plan that would cause the least amount of casualties.

"All targets secured," a masked figure walked toward the person holding her at gunpoint. She tried to turn around to look at them instead, she got a kick to the ribs and a boot pushing her into the ground. She grit her teeth at the pain. She looked up to see Lexa struggling with the three that subdued her.

"Bring the other here," a gruff voice filled her ears. She recognized that voice! She remembered participating in his earth skills class! Mr. Pike!

She turned to look at him before she spoke, "Mr. Pike?" She felt the boot press deeper into her as he bent down to look at her.

"Who are you? How do you know my name," he growled.

"My name is Clarke, Clarke Griffin," she stated.

"Griffin as in Abby Griffin's daughter," relief coating his words.

"Yes." Pike took his foot off her before he offered her his hand. After she got to her feet he took off his mask and looked at her.

"You look like one of them," aversion evident in his voice.

She mentally rolled her eyes. _Shit. This could be dangerous..._ Before she could respond, she heard someone being dragged. She turned around to find a masked figure accompanied by three others, dragging Echo. _How the hell am I going to get Echo and Lexa out of this mess without anyone getting hurt?!_ "Can you let my friends go please," she asked sweetly. She tried her best to look innocent and hoped that he wouldn't put up a fight.

"I can't do that Clarke, they are grounders. They can't be trusted," his voice even but indignation evident in his stance. The way he said it and his body language gave her an uneasy feeling. Her suspicions were confirmed with his next words. "When we first landed we had about 50 people. Things were ok for about two days, then we started getting picked off. We are now down to 20. And it's all because of them," he growled and pointed to Lexa and Echo. Clarke felt the bile rise in her throat but swallowed it down. She turned to look at Lexa, the familiar feeling of betrayal making its way through your body. She prayed, no hoped, that Lexa knew nothing of this. But now is not the time to be going over this. If she let something happen to Lexa by one of her people, there would be no stopping the war that would ensue. She will not let that happen to them.

She took a deep breath as she turned to face Pike. "Please Pike, my friends hadn't done anything specifically to you. Yes, they are grounders but they didn't harm you. Please, Pike," she all but begged as she pleaded with her eyes. She watched as a debate waged within him. She wondered which side would win out. She hoped beyond all hope that he wouldn't do anything stupid. She watched as he nodded when he finally made a decision.

"Fine," he began. She released a sigh. "Under one condition, they are stripped of their weapons," he decreed.

She froze. _Shit, Lexa is not going to allow that to happen. There has to be some other way!_ "Is that really necessary," she asked hoping she kept her nervousness from showing.

"The only way I will not detain them is if they are stripped of alltheir weapons," he growled.

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuck... How in the world am I going to get Lexa to agree to that..._ She looked over to see Lexa give her a subtle shake of her head. _Yup, just as I thought. There has got to be something I can do. Think. Think. Think... Got it!_ "They will do it; just give us a minute." She walked over to Echo and Lexa as she perpared for the silent war she was about to get into with the two grounders. As she neared them, she took a deep breath. She uttered, "Yu du disha gon ai fou yu fig au chit Nis's strat." A flash of suprise crossed Lexa's face before she recovered.

Just as quietly, Lexa said, "no klir. Ai get daun gon oso klirnes."

"Either the grounders give up their weapons NOW or they get tied," Pike said angrily.

"Ai get klin em klir. Ai swega klin," Clarke whispered, pleading with her eyes. Lexa let out a sigh as she gave a slight nod. Clarke disarmed both grounders before she walked over to Pike, who then gave orders to release them.

* * *

Translations:

Yu du disha gon ai fou yu fig au chit Nia's strat: You do this before you find out Nia's plan.

No klir. Ai get daun gon oso klirnes: Not safe. I worry for our safety.

Ai get klin em klir. Ai swega klin: I am certain its safe. I promise.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 19

Through the trip to Camp Jaha Clarke kept an eye on Pike, Lexa and Echo. She noticed moments between Pike and a women, Hannah, speak in hushed tones while stealing glances at Lexa and Echo. What worried her more was that Lexa and Echo picked up on this and started their own game of hushed wasn't stupid. She guessed that Lexa, Echo, Pike and Hannah are planing something. She has to be ever more aware than what she was.

That night, Clarke settled in between the Skaikru and the grounds, but stayed closer to Lexa and Echo. She was determined to stay awake for the night. She couldn't risk Pike trying anything and angering Lexa. She knew how that went. Lexa would probably have everyone killed. She couldn't let that happen. She kept her weapons at hand. She hoped that everything would go smoothly until they made it to Camp Jaha, but she's not oblivious to the hatred that her people are giving off ever chance they get. But hopefully she could prevent any attack that her people would try to pull. Clarke had been up for most of the night when she started to drift off. Her head rolled down to her chest as her eyes closed. After a few moments of bliss rest, she heard a twig snap. As subtle as she could, Clarke peeked to see Pike, Hannah and another sneaking past her heading toward Lexa and Echo. _Shit..._ As quietly as she cold, Clarke snuck up on Pike and put herself between the two groups.

"Pike please don't do this," she said quietly as to not startle Pike.

Pike barked out a laugh. "Why are you defending these savages? We are your people, you should be fighing with us. But instead, you dress like them, you carry their weapons and you defend them! You are a disgrace to our people," he snarled. "Move out of the way or we will take you down with them," he demanded.

vClarke's heart stopped. There was no way to get out of this without casualties. Before she could make a decision Pike aimed his gun. But before he could make a shot he was taken down by Lexa, who kicked his gun towards Clarke before circling Hannah. Hannah went to take a shot when Clarke shot the gun out of her hand. She too was taken down by Lexa. By now the rest of the camp was up and charnging at them. Clarke put her gun away and knocked a couple of them out cold. She looked over to Lexa and Echo to see them killing the rest. She went over to Hannah and started to tie her up. She didn't notice Pike wake up, or move to attack Lexa. By the time she noticed, he was taken out by Lexa. She finished with binding up Hannah before she stormed up to Lexa and pushed her. "What the hell," she screamed.

"I'm sorry Clarke, but he attacked me. Me, Clarke. Anyone who attacks me, the Commander, is sentenced to death. I thought this was better alternative instead of causing tention betweem our people again," Lexa said annoyed.

Clarke closed her eyes and siged. _Lexa was right. There would have been nothing I could have done to save him and it would have just cause her people to rebel against whatever peace they tried to make. It is best if they didn't know what happened today._

* * *

 **A/N: I know that its a short chapter. I'm osrry for that. I just finished it and I didn't want to keep you guys waiting. I have a paper, a test and homework from my other classes that I have to do. But I wanted to give you guys something before I did everything else. Hope you enjoied.**


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 20

A/N: This is for you Uncle Danny and Grandma, RIP

Clarke dodged the swing to her left as she kicked her opponent in the stomach. He doubled over in pain; using that distraction, she knocked the sword out of his hand. As he looked up, she hit him in the head with the hilt of her sword. She grabbed him by his hair as she put her sword to his neck.

"Well done," came a voice to her right. Panting from the training, she looked up to find Nia smiling at her. "Your almost ready. Come Klark, let's talk." With that, Nia turned on her heal as she walked out of the room.

Clarke stood as she sheath her sword. She turned to her opponent and held out her hand. He took it as she helped him up. "Same time tomorrow," she asked.

He shook his head with a smile. "Always Klark." She smiled as she nodded her head. She ran after Nia only to find her waiting for her at the end of the hall, looking towards her. She slowly came to a halt as she reached Nia. Before she had a chance to say anything, Nia turned on her heels and started walking again. She followed her without a complaint. She was led into Nia's bedroom. She watched from the doorway as Nia sat down on a couch, unsure of what to do.

"Come have a seat Klark; we have much to discuss." She walked towards the couch taking in the presences of pine. She let it sooth her still excited body from training. She sat down, closed her eyes and took a deep breath of the scent; letting it flow through her. She felt Nia's eyes on her as she started to relax. Nia knew how Clarke got when she had her training sessions; Nia knew that it was one of the only things helping her get through the mountain. So, Nia waited patiently for her to get her bearings together.

After a few moments, Clarke opened her eyes. "What did you want to talk about," she said sleepily. Nia shuffled closer to her as she put her arm around Clarke on the back of the sofa.

"I know your tired Klark, but you need to eat something before you fall asleep. I will have dinner brought to us then we will talk," Nia said with a smile. Clarke closed her eyes for a second as she waited for the food. The next thing she knew, she was being woken to feather touches around her hairline and a soft voice. "Klark, wake up. Dinner is here." Clarke smiled as she opened her eyes and stretched. The scent of stew and mashed potatoes mixing with pine had Clarke's smile growing.

"Mmm, stew, my favorite," she looked to Nia. She just smiled at Clarke and shrugged as she handed a bowl to Clarke.

As Clarke took a bite of stew, Nia said, " I think you should go to Polis soon."

"What's Polis," Clarke said with a furrowed brow.

"Polis is the capital," Nia said with a chuckle as she started eating her food.

"Why are you laughing," a frown tugging at her lips.

"Nothing Klark," the frown Clarke was wearing made her laugh. Clarke narrowed her eyes. She caught her breath before stating, "You looked, I think the term is, adorable." Clarke gave a shy smile as she looked down at her almost empty bowl for a brief moment.

Clarke had cleared her throat before she spoke, "Am I going to be safe there?"

"Yes, my spies tell me that Lexa has people out looking for you."

"That doesn't mean that she doesn't plan on killing me when she get's ahold of me," Clarke said with a huff. Nia rolled her eyes. Clarke laughed at her. She's picking up a lot from me, she thought with a smile.

Nia leaned to whisper in her ear, "You are her weakness, Lexa wouldn't harm you." The feeling of Nia's breath sent a tingle down her spine causing Clarke to shiver.

Clarke woke up with sweat covering her overheated body, gasping for air. Breathe, just breathe. After she had caught her breath, she closed her eyes trying to get her body under control. She groaned when the throbbing between her legs didn't lessen. She decided to train a little to take her mind off things.

Clarke tried to focus on gathering her things to head out, but her mind had other ideas. She thought about what everything would think when she would get there. She thought about how Bellamy would act towards her. Would he be happy to see me, or would he be angry with me for leaving? Anxiety started to build. She thought about Octavia's anger after TonDC, then Jasper's anguished face after what she had done. She felt bile rise as she fought off the memory. She jumped as she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Klark, are you okay?" She turned to look into worried forest green.

She shook her head as she answered, "Yeah." She cleared her throat, "Was there something you wanted to talk about?"

"Yes, I wanted to know what you wanted to do with Hannah."

"We are not killing her Lexa," she gritted out.

"I didn't say that," she sighed. "I suggest that you have her held and kept away from the everyone." Clarke was going to talk, but Lexa stopped her. "Just think about it, Clarke. This natrona can cause unrest," Lexa looked at Clarke expectantly.

"You're right," Clarke huffed out. "But people are going to see her when we get there. People are going to talk and ask questions." Clarke's mind began to race with possible outcomes before she was interrupted by Lexa.

"I have a radio." Clarke raised her eyebrows at that. "Raven gave it to me before I left to bring you back. We can radio Abby and have her meet us in the forest." Clarke nodded her head absentmindedly.

"You know I can't stay there, right," Clarke whispered with her eyes closed tight.

Lexa studied her carefully; noticing the furrow in her brows, the biting of her lip and tense shoulders. "I know that Klark," she murmured. "You will always have a home in Polis." Clarke nodded, a relieved smile tugging at her lips. "Come, Echo needs help packing," she turned around and walked towards Echo.


End file.
